On Bugs...
6.07.2006
Some of the worst things that have ever happened to me have been a direct result of bugs. 90% being connected to something sleep-related. Let's recap:
Age 6: I cried and whined until I was allowed to go outside without shoes on...FREEDOM! I stepped from the sidewalk to the grass and before my right foot left the pavement, was immediately stung by a bee, thus ruining me for life on the barefoot/outdoors deal. Never again.
Age 7: First time I ever recall throwing up. Direct result of a bug flying up my nose and grossing me out.
Age 9: GIANT spider fell on my head from a doorframe after washing my hair and only after I laid down to sleep did it come out. Yeah, I wore that bitch around a couple of hours, wrapped in my towel.Nice.
Age 11: Wasp flew up my nightgown when I stepped onto the front porch to water a plant, causing me to flail about and fall into a cactus. Yeah, you read that right. I said down right on a cactus. The wasp also stung me. The embarrassment continued when my mother had to enlist the help of a neighbor to pull needles out of my bare behind.
Age 16: Coming back at 7am from keeping my aunt company (she was afraid to be alone), a teeeeeenyyy tiiiinnnny spider decided that it would land on my shoulder for a while. I calmly tried to swat at it, and in doing so turned my head, which caused me to run the side of my car right into some jutting rocks. Car: Totaled. The good news: It was a Ford. The Worse news: My mom was in the car and witness to my stupidity.
Age 21: Fell out of the display window at work and onto a glass shelving unit when a pesky fly thought I was it's best friend. Ouch. Did I mention about 6 people, watching me change the display saw this happen? Yeeeaaaahh.
And now, at age 23 I add a new bug to the list. Last night I feel asleep prematurely, with a lamp on and window up. I woke up around 5:30 am with a moth trying to attach itself to my face. I screamed, flailed around, and in doing so, kicked a glass and it's melty-ice contents that I'd fallen asleep near right onto my laptop. Now lappy won't connect to the internets. And I'm usually so careful. *Sniff*
I've been pretty passive about these occuances up to this point. But Bugs, let me just make it clear here and now, no more. It's ON!
Age 6: I cried and whined until I was allowed to go outside without shoes on...FREEDOM! I stepped from the sidewalk to the grass and before my right foot left the pavement, was immediately stung by a bee, thus ruining me for life on the barefoot/outdoors deal. Never again.
Age 7: First time I ever recall throwing up. Direct result of a bug flying up my nose and grossing me out.
Age 9: GIANT spider fell on my head from a doorframe after washing my hair and only after I laid down to sleep did it come out. Yeah, I wore that bitch around a couple of hours, wrapped in my towel.Nice.
Age 11: Wasp flew up my nightgown when I stepped onto the front porch to water a plant, causing me to flail about and fall into a cactus. Yeah, you read that right. I said down right on a cactus. The wasp also stung me. The embarrassment continued when my mother had to enlist the help of a neighbor to pull needles out of my bare behind.
Age 16: Coming back at 7am from keeping my aunt company (she was afraid to be alone), a teeeeeenyyy tiiiinnnny spider decided that it would land on my shoulder for a while. I calmly tried to swat at it, and in doing so turned my head, which caused me to run the side of my car right into some jutting rocks. Car: Totaled. The good news: It was a Ford. The Worse news: My mom was in the car and witness to my stupidity.
Age 21: Fell out of the display window at work and onto a glass shelving unit when a pesky fly thought I was it's best friend. Ouch. Did I mention about 6 people, watching me change the display saw this happen? Yeeeaaaahh.
And now, at age 23 I add a new bug to the list. Last night I feel asleep prematurely, with a lamp on and window up. I woke up around 5:30 am with a moth trying to attach itself to my face. I screamed, flailed around, and in doing so, kicked a glass and it's melty-ice contents that I'd fallen asleep near right onto my laptop. Now lappy won't connect to the internets. And I'm usually so careful. *Sniff*
I've been pretty passive about these occuances up to this point. But Bugs, let me just make it clear here and now, no more. It's ON!
Amelia at 6:26 AM
4 Comments:
Age 6 reminds me of 'you'll shoot your eye out".
Yeah, I'm not down with spiders at all. Oh, and the last time that I stayed at my parents cabin, I awoke to find a tick crawling up my neck. Fun!
lol that's pretty much how it was too.
Oh yuck! I had one on my neck once, but I think I caught it from my dog or something. They're scary like leeches!
Last week I nearly broke my neck in the bathroom. I was going to get into the shower and as I did I saw a large spider in there. It was not fun.
But that spider sleeps with the fishies now.. :D
(hahaha ADDPU)
HAH! The cactus one was the best!
I remember once when I was around 7, I was playing hide and go see and thought it was a good idea to hide behind a cactus since no one would look there. I didn't think about the fact that only the mentally decrepit thinks, "No one wants to be around cacti, so for the sake of my hide-and-go-seek sanctity, I will suffer at the hands of nature!"
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