Sticky Sweet

Michelle

2008-05-20T20:18:00.001-04:00

http://glitteradventure.blogspot.com/2006/11/exploding-box-class.html

http://twopeasinabucket.kaboose.com/pg.asp

http://www.scrapbook.com/gallery/

Tenative Return

2008-03-14T22:52:00.003-04:00

Whoa.

Today makes the 30th day I would have gone without internet if I hadn't cracked. I wasn't trying to go without it mind you, but so much has been happening that something had to be sacrificed. I'm sorry dear internets, that it had to be you.

I've been sick, tired, sad, happy, and generally disgruntled. I've driven a u-haul across 2 state lines and back, put out a scary fire in my kitchen, watched 2 guys drop my mom on her head (twice!), helped someone wean themselves off drugs, lost 10 more pounds, sold 12 acres of land, and fractured my tail bone (again!). My heart has been destroyed, but I don't really think I can talk about that. I put my resignation in at work (because I was so frustrated I didn't know what else to do) only to have my boss toss it in the trash can and refuse to accept it. I bought tickets to the big show in Columbus in May (Papa Roach and Disturbed!).

So, that's about it. I've either got to go to sleep or spend my late-night scrubbing at the soot-stains on my wall. I choose sleep.

Local Celebrity

2008-01-29T23:48:00.001-05:00

Two Hours

2008-01-29T23:16:00.001-05:00

-I just spent the last two hours laughing it up while watching people sing (bad) country music, karaoke style. The flashing neon sign advertised that you could bring your own music or choose from "many selections" already on hand. How could I pass that up? It was beautiful.

-I spent two hours yesterday hanging out at a friend's house for another friend's birthday. My friend's wife and I watched the boys play cards, quote Jay and Silent Bob and imbibe as much Bud Light as they could possibly handle in 120 minutes. When we got up to leave, my friend yelled "Wait! I have to play you this song! Let me get my guitar!" and ran off, returning before I could ask whether is was acoustic or electric. It was neither. He ran back in the room with a tiny plastic guitar and played a Danzig song on Guitar Hero. Over and Over. For 30 minutes. My head hurt.

I'm Still In Shock Heath Ledger's Dead.

2008-01-29T04:09:00.000-05:00

I bought a bookcase for my birthday. Well, a "media center" I originally was planning on making a bookcase but now I'm guessing I'd better use it for it's intended purpose. I've managed so far to wrangle the frame together but until I can remember to get some glue on my way home, It'll remain that way.

That being said, it's been a pretty boring week. So instead of whining about how I should be sleeping right now instead of blogging, watching Bewitched (the series), doing laundry, and waiting to be at work at 5am, I give you some links to get you through the day. Enjoy!

The 10 Most Terrifyingly Inspirational 80's Songs

Smitten Kitchen

Good Reads

Glitter Adventure's Exploding Box Class

2008...So Far

2008-01-22T23:31:00.000-05:00

In 29 minutes I'm going to be 25. I'm still a little shell shocked about this.

-This month has been full of the flu, and pulled muscles, and work work work.

-I'm taking classes to make this party planning business dream a reality.

-I broke my glasses (but according to my gay friend at work I'm 100 times sexier without them).
-I've bought 14 movies this month. Movie Gallery is a cult.

-I've seen one movie this month. Sweeney Todd is excellent.

-I've lost 30 pounds since Christmas and I've done it by being so busy I don't sit down. I know that's not the healthiest way to lose poundage, but hey, the jeans I put on for a company function last Tuesday looked great and I hadn't worn them in two years. Go. Me.

-I'm only seeing my coworkers and the insides of my eyelids. I'm working harder at life right now than I've ever worked before.

-My coworkers aren't too happy with me because I'm the only one who didn't get in trouble when the big head boss came. They chalked it up to my going to the company bowling party last Tuesday. Apparently now I'm also a suck up.

-I saw a real-life purse snatcher on Saturday at the mall. He got away with the goods.

-On nights when I get home at 3am and I'm too tired to do anything else, I pull out my mp3 player, go outside (sometimes with a blanket) and listen to that one song that reminds me of someone special over and over again, and miss him with a fierceness I've never known before. I feel like I've lost him and just can't figure out how to get him back.

Recap (an ongoing list)

2008-01-02T21:00:00.000-05:00

95.3% of 2007 sucked for me. Here's a recap of the best (and worst) moments/things that I encountered in 2007.

Entertainment:

Best Movie I saw: Transformers/I Am Legend (tie)

Worst Movie: Gravedancers

Top 5 Songs:

1. "Ice Cream" - Muscles
2. "Sorry"-Buck Cherry
3. "I'll Be Waiting"- Lenny Kravitz
4. "Forever"- Papa Roach
5. "The Way I Are" - Timbaland

Most Anticipated Book Read: Eclipse- Stephenie Meyer

Personal:

Best Day: July 27, 2007 (first day of vacation)

Worst Day: September 28th, 2007 (day I got hired at my job lol)

Best thing that happened: Finally spending time with HB

Worst thing that happened: March-May which caused my mom to lose a leg, and a lot more.

Loneliest moment: Sitting in my car in December in a deserted parking lot listening to a cd and having one of those semi-quarter-life-crisis moments.

Number of people I've had arrested: 1

Number of pounds lost: 38

Biggest Accomplishment: Being able to make a little ca$h writing.

Smallest Accomplishment: Being a Jerk. For realz.

2007, You Sure Did A Number On Me.

2007-12-27T13:13:00.000-05:00

I saw someone deal drugs Thursday of last week.

I had to have someone arrested (the receiver of the drugs) where I work on Saturday.

I had to sit there and listen to this kid beg me not to, because he was already on probation, had to sit there and listen to him lie to me about having weed and a pipe there. At first I believed him, then I found his hiding spot. My boss made me call, and I agreed, because, well if you knew what I've had to put up with this past month you'd know that something just had to give.

So I called the police and sat there nervously clenching my fists until they arrived. They took the kid to a small room in the back to read him his rights and discuss the problem. Hearing someone say those words outside of a movie was surreal. I sat there in my office staring straight ahead, tears falling down my face until well after they'd left. The other person there with me having to finish up for me.

This whole month has kind of been like that: Surreal. My life this year doesn't really even feel like mine anymore. I've got more of a social life now than I did this time last year, but the only difference is I didn't want or need it last year. Things have been rough with my family, hb, and personally all this month and it's been taking it's toll on me this past few weeks. I don't know if it's just because I'm unaccessible right now, or if there's something genuinely wrong, but it feels crazy. Not like my life at all. I'd trade all the nights watching my friends play cards until they pitch over, drunk (I'm the dd, by the way), all the movies we've watched, and all the PS3 games I've played since we had early Christmas, and anything else I could just for a little bit of my old life back.

I never thought I'd miss it, but God, do I miss being boring. I miss my family, hb, and being normal. Being slightly naive, totally loved, fairly happy, comfortable in my own skin. I miss being me.

Santa

2007-12-25T16:04:00.000-05:00

Santa has a blog. Read it here, and check out his 100 Things here.

The Big News

2007-12-18T22:59:00.000-05:00

I never really knew much about my father. My parents were divorced when I was a small child. His name was Charles, he was 7 years older than my mom, and I have his nose. Beyond that, I knew basically nothing. I didn't really care, because I'd never known him, was never going to know him, so what did it matter, right?

Wrong.

My mom sat me down a few days ago and started talking about my father. She said that since I'd moved back home I needed to know the "real truth" about him. "CIA?" I asked, joking. She looked out the window and proceeded to inform me that my father was not indeed, from Florida or my father at all. My REAL father was a married local business owner 23 years older than my mother. A skirt chaser. A man I saw nearly every day of my life when I was a kid. They both knew. A Google search told me he died 4 years ago. She only told me because I might come home and date/be friends with a half brother that my father managed to crank out before his demise. According to her though, I'm the youngest and last of the bastard children.

I couldn't help it. I cried. Thinking about it now makes me feeling a little like doing so as well. My mom had a fake marriage certificate made up to give my grandparents with my supposed father's name on it. Once, when I was upset when my Aunt for not finishing out my branch of the family tree, I accused my mom of not really being married to my dad and she whipped that out to show me. When I asked her why she did all that stuff, she said it was because she didn't want her parents to be embarrassed because they were old fashioned.

Apparently no one thought about how this would affect me in later years. It's not good.

Oh, and my last name? Completely fabricated. Nice.

My Heart.

2007-12-06T12:36:00.000-05:00

Things have been absolutely irritating this past week. I've talked to people I don't want to, and the people I do want to (one in particular) either want to have nothing to do with me, or are too busy to talk.

Which is probably why my heart exploded on Tuesday.

There I was, at work, thinking about the appointment I was supposed to be at around 3 (apartment interview thing) and I realized I wasn't going to get finished at work on time. I was worried I'd be late so I felt my heart beating a little faster. The I made it out with just enough time to spare only two people I went to High School with stopped me to talk on the way to my car. Each time I had to stop, my heart beat a little faster. I finally made it in and got halfway through the interview process only to be informed that I. Make. Too. Much. Money. to live in the crazy-nice new apartment building I've had my eye on for two months. (Apparently the person I'd been talking to on the phone failed to say "Yes" when I asked "Are these apartments income based?" *Sigh*)

So I leave the hotel conference room, and I feel my heart pounding away in my chest, getting faster with each step I took. While I was waiting for the elevator, I started thinking about all kinds of stuff. Mostly the mess that is my life right now, and the personal business going on this particular week. By the time the elevator had climbed it's way up, I was in tears. By the time I had made it out to my car, I couldn't breathe. I leaned forward and laid my head on my steering wheel until my eyesight got clear again and I could once again see the health department next door. Then I went home.

Since then, I've woken up every morning, evening, whatever with a hard-pounding heart.

The holidays are definitely a stressful time of year!

BFF

2007-12-01T00:21:00.000-05:00

Tessa and I bought the exact same pack of Christmas cards this year, with no prior knowledge about the purchase. I suspect Mandy has also done this, but it's too early to tell.

Not only are we BFF, we're psychic.

O.M.G. List

2007-11-30T23:55:00.000-05:00

In the past week I have:

1. Been set up on a date with a dude from work. (Hello, I'm taken?)
2. Been badgered by everyone including said dude at work pointing out his good attributes, and how I'd be good for him due to his needing a little "polishing" and the fact that I'm really good at getting people at work to do what I want. Unfortunately, this is not something that carries over to my personal life.
3. Played tattoo parlor with an 11 year old I was babysitting, and only today was able to scrub the last one off my arm.
4. It was a scorpion.
5. Listened to Colbie Calliet's cd no less than 3 times (It's very catchy/pop-y)
6. Had one girl from work practically shoot death lasers out of her eyes due to numbers 1 and 2.
7. Had headband stolen by girl from number 6.
8. Lost 7 more pounds. Go stress!
9. Made Jell-o.
10. Received one Keifer Southerland* playing card from someone to remember them by.
11. Received a couple of "The call is coming from inside your house"-style text messages.
12. Realized how disgusting I truly do find cigarette smoke. (Sorry guys) Especially when in a group.
13. Applied to one school to start finishing my education.
14. Cried over someone and called my best friend.
15. Went to the mall.
16. Saw Fred Claus (Rawr=Vince Vaughn)
17. Had my head explode a couple of times. Due to numbers 1-16.

*lol for real.

Sigh

2007-11-24T22:54:00.000-05:00

This is the time of year I love the best. Bright lights and warm friendly faces, lots of family and friends to share it all with. But this year, it's all changed. Maybe not "ALL" exactly, but, my life is certainly not on the same level playing field it was last year at this time. I'm even considering not putting up my tree.

Sure, there is some Holiday cheer in me: I sing along to the (good) Christmas Carols on the radio, and today, when I donated money car-side to the motorcycle gang that was collecting money for "Needy Kids" (per their sign) my heart grew three sizes and for a fleeting moment I was teary eyed. Then I saw how crowded the store's parking lot was and got all "Bah humbug!" again. I feel like I'm just working hard to get this year over with. I so looked forward to it, and then it kicked me in the proverbial balls.

I'm feeling a little ignored. Please excuse me until this passes.

Party

2007-11-24T03:14:00.000-05:00

Today I realized that my birthday is a scant 2 months away. In roughly 60 days I'm going to hit that age that I've looked toward with a little bit of fear, because it seemed that when my friends hit that age, they all went a little nuts. I've worried that this will happen to me, but as this whole year has made me a little nuts, I'm less worried about it making me that way too. So I've decided to embrace my 25th birthday and throw myself the biggest, most kick-ass party I've ever thrown. Everyone's invited. Young, old, and in between. The only present I want is for someone to dress up as the Kool-Aide man and bust through the party hall's door about half way through the night, scream "OH YEAH!" and jump into the pile of dancing people. BEST. PRESENT. EVER.

And yes, there WILL be alcohol. LOTS of it. I hear it calms the nuts down.

Yikes

2007-11-24T00:24:00.000-05:00

My inbox is empty. Had email that dated back to October 8.

Now, to catch up with everything else.

Site

2007-11-16T09:56:00.000-05:00

Stumbled upon this today and found it hilarious. Internet, meet New and Improved Stereotypes. Stereotypes, meet Internet.

Apparantly I can get drunk on candlewax.

Whoa.

2007-11-09T21:58:00.000-05:00

My horoscope for today, which I failed to check until a few moments ago stated this:

"Although almost everything in your life seems to be going well, dear Aquarius, today you might find yourself in a bit of a panic. You might have a temporary fit of fear that it won't last. However, this is most likely due to your deepest insecurities flaring up. Don't read too much into it, and don't pay any attention to the doubts expressed by others. Believe in yourself, continue to work hard, and keep moving on ahead."

How did they know? I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm creating problems (internally) that I don't really have. How lame.

You're good astrocenter.com. Perhaps too good.

Not As Fun As It Sounds

2007-11-09T21:34:00.000-05:00

I swear, talking to some people is like trying to walk up a quicksand hill* in stiletto heels. It's not going to get any better is it?

*yes I know that's pretty impossible.

Garbled Post

2007-11-09T20:07:00.000-05:00

I think I failed to mention this, but, I went away for a work seminar Monday through Wednesday this week. I'm now officially certified to do my job, according to the heavy sheet of paper they gave me with my name in calligraphy on the front. I spent those three days in a luxury hotel, goofing off with people in the same boat I was (11 in all) and spending my evenings eating in my favorite restaurants and shopping at the mall. Doesn't get much better than that.

I went back to work refreshed, energized, with a new perspective, and more confident than I had been before. I feel more like I belong now, even though I've still got a long way to go in that area.

All of the ladies hugged me and told me they were glad I was back. One of the boys even came in today and saw me typing away, putting in inventory and yelled my name happily, wrapped his arm around me and gave me a huge, wet (read: gross) kiss on the cheek.

"How are you doing?" he asked propping himself up on my desk. "We've missed you."

But I'm tired. Instead of feeling refreshed, I left work today (2 hours late-making an 11.5 hour work day) creeping so slow even your Grandma was baffled. I feel like I could sleep for a whole day-but that's never going to happen.

It doesn't help that the local newspaper called me Thursday about a position I applied for a couple months ago, asking if I wanted to reapply for it. Yes. I. Do.

My mom is really confused today. She's reaching for stuff that's not even there and asking me questions/saying things at really strange times. Things like "Are you going to get it or what?" and I'll ask "Get what?" and by then she's back to her senses (I guess?) and she'll say "Oh, nothing. Never mind." and go about her business. Strange.

So, would anyone have any idea how to make a really kick ass professional writing portfolio?

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

2007-11-05T00:40:00.000-05:00

Actual conversation I had at some point last week at work:

JC: Don't take this the wrong way, but do you smoke weed?
Amelia: Nope. Other than an unfortunate second hand smoke incident on the bus in high school I've never been high. And never will be high.
JC: Huh...you look like the kind of person who does it a lot.
Amelia (looking down): Um...I'm wearing a cardigan? Maybe you've got "High" and "Fan of Mister Roger's" confused.

and then later:

JJ: I bet you get really wild when you let loose!
Amelia: Once, again, I'm. Wearing. A. Cardigan.

What is UP p-ville?

AJ <3 BH

2007-11-02T14:02:00.000-04:00

Today is my and HB's (HB's and my?) Meetaversary. The anniversary of when we met, 3 years ago. A lot has changed since then, but one things remains the same. No matter how crappy I'm feeling, or if he annoys me, at the end of the day, he still makes me incredibly happy. :)

Don't Tell Anyone I'm This Lame

2007-10-31T00:03:00.000-04:00

Do you remember when you were a Teen Beat/Tiger Beat/etc teenager? Your room plastered with pictures of your favorite celebrity and band, doodling your names together instead of taking notes in class, dreaming up what your mansion would look like when you get married (because he was TOTALLY going to fall in love with you as soon as his eyes met yours across the room!)?

Or that summer, okay, you're not going to lie, that ENTIRE year, you spent practically every spare moment laying on your living room floor writing what would ultimately be a 322 page, handwritten book which began with you being in love with Andrew Keegan, then when the season, and your crush changed, Nick Carter whisked you off into the key west sunset (because apparently he bought you a house there) where you lived happily ever after?

Or being so embarrassed by your 'novel' in later years that, not being able to part with it, you stuck it in a waterproof bag and buried it, without your name on it of course, the week before you moved from your childhood home, along with your posters of Jonathan Brandis (the only reason to even watch Sea Quest over TGIF)?

Oh. You DON'T remember that? Yeah, me either.

Ouch

2007-10-27T12:42:00.000-04:00

Last night, I dreamed HB told me he didn't love me anymore, and also that people at work kept calling in, thinking I wasn't the person answering the phone, telling me they weren't coming back to work until I quit/got fired. Waking up to that felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart, and left the knife in.

Then after discussing this with someone, they twisted it just a little bit.

Yesterday I gave myself a 4 inch long burn on my left forearm (underside). That burn doesn't hurt as much as the imagined stabbing.

Creepy Things

2007-10-25T23:47:00.000-04:00

-Tessa's purse was stolen this morning right out of her truck while she was dropping her son off at preschool. As if that's not upsetting enough, the jerk who stole it had to have watched her go in enough times to figure out that she didn't lock her car door in the mornings. People are jerks! I would love a bottle of shoe polish and two minutes with no witnesses right now. His car would be mine.

-There's this gas station at the end of my road that I'm always hesitant to go to. I thought it was because it used to have a giant chicken statue outside, but now I realize, it's more than that. I went in tonight and realized why. It looks like one of those "Middle of no where" gas stations you'd see in a scary movie. Some guy named Clem behind the counter chewing tobacco with his good tooth. It's got wooden floors and dim lighting and a little like, home cooking restaurant inside complete with 3 sets of booths in a little "Eating area". Everyone seems to know everyone else to, and don't particularly care whether they want on the outsiders or not. It's the kind of place, if I were to enter while in a scary movie, I'd back out slowly saying "Know what? I think I can find it myself".

-Yesterday, on the way home from that seminar, I saw a guy about 1/4 of a mile away from my apartment, walking down the road. This in general isn't strange but it's usually someone exercising. This guy was just walking. I didn't think much of it, and went on home. About 30 minutes later I hear sirens of all sorts and there's a big ruckus going on just out of view of my windows. It lasts a while then dies down. Turns out, the guy I saw on the road walked out of range of his house and shot himself in the head beside the road. He was married with a nice house and family and he just walks down the road and shoots himself. I'm 99% positive that I wasn't, but I can't help but think, what if I was the last person who saw that guy alive? My road isn't that busy, so it's possible. I doubt I was, but still I got chills driving home tonight.

NaNo?

2007-10-24T20:45:00.000-04:00

Does anyone else do NaNoWriMo? Just curious.

Love Personified

2007-10-23T23:50:00.000-04:00

If Cupid and Aphrodite had a few too many cocktails and wound up having a kid, and that kid some day wound up winning American Idol, that kid would totally be Michael Buble.

School's In, Sucka!

2007-10-23T23:16:00.000-04:00

Before I start, you need to know that I'm listening to MC Hammer-Specifically "Can't Touch This".

I know my job is new, but it's hard, yo. Seriously. So hard I've lost a pants size with all the running around, no time to eat stuff I do all day. So hard in fact that I've been contemplating finding a different one, but two factors have stopped me. I'm making more money now than I've ever made (which is kinda sad if you knew my salary), and also I feel obligated to stay because I got this job with a friend's influence as well as because I've known my bosses for a long time, since I lived here before so I really don't want to disappoint anyone. So, I've been kind of quiet at work, not wanting to connect with anyone or really make myself memorable in any way so that quitting would be less traumatic for us all. In the past few days, however this has changed. Everyone seems to be coming to me to talk, and my colleague told me her son (who also works with us, in a different section) told me her son loved me and would do anything for me. I don't think my plan is working like I thought it would.

Tomorrow I have to get up before the Roosters and drive to a hotel in Huntington to take a test for work. Then, in two weeks, work is putting me up at a hotel there so I can take a 3 day seminar where I'll get some ridiculous piece of paper that says I'm competent enough to do my job. The test looks so easy it's laughable (from the 200+ page book I just memorized) and 3 of the 4 main people I work with assure me that I'll do fine. One however, has gotten under my skin. Sunday he* looks as me and goes "I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but you're gonna fail that test." which, didn't bother me at first, but then slowly it started to aggravate me, and by this afternoon when I went over to review with my boss, I was downright peeved. My boss already knew what happened and had told me not to worry. He sat with us for a bit while we reviewed, and before he left the room he clapped me on the shoulder and said "Don't worry, you'll do fine" then made a "Yeah right!" face at my boss. She looked at me, raised an eyebrow and started to speak but I cut her off.

"Okay, NOW I'm getting a 100% just for spite." I said.

"That's my girl." she said. "Welcome back."

*the job I took was that of his mistress, whose husband had forced her to quit, because he suspected she was cheating on him! oops.

Nerdy Rant

2007-10-23T22:51:00.000-04:00

As most of you know (since I've complained about this on more than one occasion) my firefox has a bad habit of getting mad at me for my need to bookmark nearly every website I've ever been to in case I ever need to go back (90% of the time I don't). Firefox is all

"Another **** site? You'll never ever be able to read all of them!" (which, HB has said to me before as well, minus the cursing).

while I'm all:

"Yes huh firefox! And just for that I'm going to mark that site about the care and maintenance of Unicorns in case HB buys me one for Christmas! *mark*"

So firefox sulks and basically lays in wait until I shut my laptop down and then come back later. When I'm back, fight forgotten, apparently firefox is back too, all bookmarks forgotten.

This has happened, oh, 8 or 10 times now. But this time was different! I remembered the power of google and went to work. After a search that took all of 10 seconds, I found this article on recovering your marks. I made it as far as locating the bookmarks and opened them in my browser. After that point, the instructions completely lost me, however I did manage to simply drag and drop the links back into my folder. All that's left is to separate them.

Just thought I'd pass that along in case it ever happens to you. Might want to email it to yourself though, because........................well, you know.

3 Things

2007-10-20T17:27:00.000-04:00

-My laptop will turn 3 this December I JUST NOW hooked my printer up to it. You know what I had to do? Plug in the USB. That's it. Computers: Smart. Amelias: Lazy.

-Update on Wig Man! This morning I was drinking some sort of coffee/milkshake (I was desperate) concoction that I'm becoming quite fond of, when wig man appeared. He sat down in his usual spot and I went and got the umbrella he left behind the day before, from my friend who works at the breakfast place. I gave it to him and said
"I believe you left this yesterday" , to which he replied, "Thank you very much" and I went about my business. A few minutes later, I hear my friend laughing from her work post and I look up from my magazine to see her pointing at Wig Man and wiping tears from her eyes. I look up, and he's staring at me (he must've found some way to get the shoe polish off his glasses because they were normal today) with the oddest look on his face. My friend called me from where she was standing and between laughs she exclaimed: "It's LOVE!" to which I replied "Or a simple case of indigestion."

-My mom was in her physical therapy session today when I came home. Her PT kept complaining about his "bad elbow" and "that elbow I had to have worked on" bothering him because it rained... yesterday. Um, shouldn't he get some physical therapy for that? Or better yet, rub some dirt on it.

News

2007-10-19T18:58:00.000-04:00

Sooo...*cough* One of my party planning articles is potentially going to be published in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. It's Halloween themed, so if you live in the area, keep an eye out this week.

This year has been great from the writing perspective. First on the internet, then on the radio, now, in print.

NEAT!

The Grand and Elaborate Story of Wig Man

2007-10-19T17:47:00.000-04:00

So, at my favorite breakfast place, there is this dude we'll simply call "Wig Man" who comes in nearly every day. He gets a drink and then sits there and stares back into the kitchen at the people who work there. I'm know over half of the employees at said establishment so I hear all kinds of stories about him. He has all kinds of wigs and comical accessories, for his many looks (personalities perhaps?). Some of my favorites:

Old Man:
-Gray/greasy hair, balding of course.
-old guy glasses

The Dude:
-Dark brown hair
-aviator reading glasses that are (I SWEAR) painted in black/brown to make sunglasses.
-Usually wears this one while also wearing 3-4 shirts so he can increase his dudeosity/dudeliciousness at a moment's notice.

Rastafarian:
-Dreadlocks, but he likes to mix this one up by wearing it jauntily; perched slightly so it tilts a little to the left.
-Painted on mustache (possibly painted on with shoe polish, which, I suspect, is also what he used on his shades).
-He usually carries several plastic bags filled with mystery items when he wears this one.

Vaudeville:
-Fake nose/mustache attached to glasses. Yes, I'm serious.

Seeing all these great get ups led me to an idea. I bought a wig at Wal-Mart from their Halloween section right now, and last week, when he was in the bathroom making one of his many costume changes, I slipped it into the seat he likes to be in.

Today, I was rewarded with my new favorite look:

The Joe-Dirt:
-Blond Mullet
-Painted sunglasses
-Rolled up pant legs (imagine someone rolling up the cuffs before wading in ankle deep water)
-Clip on gold hoop earring.

Score one for wig man: He made me laugh until I couldn't breathe.

Whew!

2007-10-19T17:36:00.000-04:00

I have to start by saying, it's been a helluva month. First, with the mysterious arrival of my mother, and the starting of the new job. Which, incidentally, I hate, but not in that "with every fiber of my being" kind of way. It has it's moments. I can say I only work with one sane person though. A guy named J.D.,who has fallen so far down a beer bottle I don't think that, at his 5'9" he'll be finding his way out any time soon. Did I mention he just turned 21? Fun times.

But, back to the job itself. It's a fine job, if you're willing to work with people who are wild; uncensored. These people have no shame about what comes out of their mouth. Dirty jokes and sexual innuendos flow like water from the cooler. For future reference, teasing me with "Bend over and wait" at 5am is not nearly as charming as it is at 8am. And, at 8am, it's as charming as a lumberjack skating in the winter Olympics. Fabulous.

I took the job as a sort of favor for someone I used to know, before I moved. Now, I'm sort of regretting it. :p I'm grumpy.

Promises, Promises

2007-10-18T05:02:00.000-04:00

Update today, after I wake up (again). Also, I'll catch up on you. Promise.

Update

2007-10-05T23:23:00.000-04:00

Just a quick note to say I'm not dead, but I feel like I am. I started the blasted new job this week, and I'm working 55+ work weeks, and trying to keep up with the writing gig, and on Tuesday my mom came home from rehab to stay with me for an indefinite amount of time (though,when I answered the door on Monday and found some dude there to deliver a bed for her, I figure it's going to be a while) I'm a little stressed. I'll catch up on Sunday, most likely.

Here's hoping you guys have a better weekend that I will!

Oy.

Proof I Have Way Too Much Time On My Hands

2007-09-29T21:09:00.000-04:00

It was brought to my attention last night, that some people don't know what french toast is! French toast is a magical breakfast food that also has dinner-like properties. It is simple to prepare and also delicious. Not to be one to let my people down, I did a flickr photoset on how to make french toast earlier today. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Square One

2007-09-29T00:39:00.000-04:00

Since the nightmare year has started to lift it's fog, I'm heading back to the working world.

Today I sort of went back in time, while also heading forward. I went back to a place I used to know, only as an adult. It's better this time, I'm not afraid anymore. It's familiar enough that I won't feel like a fish out of water, which, is how I feel in EVERY aspect of my life right now as it is. Sometimes, I still feel 17. So unsure of everything around me, worrying about everything from "Is he going to call?" to "Am I going to make it?" only now, instead of it all being trivial it's more important. All my worries at 17 seem laughable now that I know how strange things can be.

So, I'm glad I came home. I'm glad I've wound up where I am. I'm glad that I'm sort of, in a way, starting over again. Maybe, with what I know now, I can do it right this time. Square one is looking like a pretty sweet piece of real estate right now. Some people wish their whole lives for a chance to start over again at a certain point in their lives. I'm feeling pretty lucky that I actually get to do it.

Life In The South

2007-09-25T22:15:00.000-04:00

I think in the south it's mandatory to have a goofy nickname if you're going to run for office.

Ah, Junebug, I love living here!

No, In YOUR Face!

2007-09-22T22:38:00.000-04:00

All day long in the sports world (espn while at the laundromat, and also from several random chuckleheads) I kept hearing about how UK was going to get creamed tonight by Arkansas, and how they might as well throw in the towel now. I was bummed, and almost didn't listen to the game tonight on the way back from the old homestead. But, as history has shown, I still keep the home fires burning, even if UK suffers a humiliating loss. So I tuned in, out of respect, if nothing else. And you know what?

HA! UK beat Arkansas 42-29!

That was quite possibly the most exciting game I've ever heard. At one point, I think possibly the first touchdown UK made, some guy was keeping pace with my car (trying to pass) on 23 and I looked over after I'd pumped my fist nerd-style as I heard the play, and saw the dude in the car beside of me beating his steering wheel. He looked up about the same time I did and it was obvious we were listening to the same thing. So I gave him a thumbs up (which he returned) and then I slowed down, because, keeping pace with some dude listening to the same station as you is kinda creepy.

Drunk?

2007-09-22T00:21:00.000-04:00

Overheard through my living room wall just now:

(two guys singing): "Na ni Na Na Hey Hey Hey, GOODBYEEEEE!"

single guy: "I love you man!"

(queue some muffled sounds and then the opening strings of a guitar)

other guy starting to sing: All I know! All I know-oooh......

first guy: You don't know jack....ass!

(hysterical laughter from possibly 5 voices as the other guy resumes trying to play)

Oh, boy, I tell you, living here is really...something. What, I'm not sure.

Oh yeah!

2007-09-19T11:39:00.000-04:00

Happy Talk Like A Pirate day!

Argggh!

Rejected

2007-09-10T00:31:00.000-04:00

(update: this post has been hanging around since Saturday night. I'm pretty much over it now)

Last week I was rejected for the very first time.

I don't mean like, "Hey I don't like you in THAT way" kind of rejected, but more of a "Hey you don't have any skills and you suck" kind of rejected. It was for a writing gig that would have allowed me to work from home, thus solving many of the current problems on my plate. I didn't have enough 'experience' in the field of the job I applied for. The field itself is one which, from time to time, makes me think "I really enjoy learning about this" but then you find me five seconds later veering away to chase a (metaphorical) butterfly. I realize now that I put very little effort into the application process, leaving only my article writing abilities to carry me through. So, I can say with authority that even if you can string a few sentences together and call it a day, lack of zeal will get you every time. I'm still bummed though.

Oh, Christmas Tree

2007-09-09T13:43:00.000-04:00

Yes, that IS a disco ball up top.

Even though I love fall more than any other time of year, I CANNOT WAIT to put up my Christmas tree this year. That picture doesn't even do it justice: Last year I had a crappy camera.

Why I Can't Get Anything Done

2007-09-07T10:05:00.000-04:00

While checking my 'business' email this morning, I happened upon this little gem that didn't get caught by my spam filter:

Wassup Hormozian
change your life starting from today and get a bigger penis!

Something about the way this is written reminded me of those goofy after school specials that used to come on in the early to mid 90s. Anyone else remember those? "Hormozian" would be the last name of some little nerd boy with thick glasses and a pocket protector and he'd be standing by his locker, pushing the bridge of his glasses up his nose, staring longingly at the dance squad captain or some other girl "out of his league". Then, the school bully, an Eddie Haskell look-alike perhaps, would appear behind him and say that line, while handing him a bag of pills. Dave (Hormozian) would take the bag and quickly stuff it into his trapperkeeper with the puppies on it, and scoot on down the hall, embarrassed he'd been caught staring.

Later that night, Dave would be getting ready to start his homework when the bag of pills would fall in slow motion out of his trapper and plunk with an exaggerated, echoing thunk onto his desk, illuminated by his desk lamp. He would then, have a 'flash-forward' where he would consider the future. Take the pill and he would be instantly cool. He'd see himself at parties in smoke filled living rooms while parents were out of town, sitting next to dance squad girl while she smokes a fat one, then taking a hit himself and passing it on to some faceless kid at the party. He would imagine all the kids laughing as he looks around the room, the laughter getting more shrill and his vision (the camera) panning faster and faster around the faces until it was spinning out of control and the laughter was so shrill it was screaming. Then, Dave would snap out of this, obviously spooked by the flinch and shiver combo he does.

Finally, Dave would go downstairs with the bag behind his back to his parents. He'd place the bag slowly on the coffee table and say "I need to talk". Mr. and Mrs. Hormozian would look at each other, wondering is Dave had found their stash, but he confesses, spilling the whole day out for them through a few tears. They Tell him how proud they are of him, and that they'll talk to the principal first thing tomorrow. Dave goes back to his room, gets ready for bed, and goes to sleep with a smile on his face because even if he's not a 'cool' kid, at least his not a stoner.

And...scene.

Nostalgia

2007-09-06T00:04:00.000-04:00

One of my earliest memories is of watching baseball with my grandfather. He died just a couple of years after I was born, but my mom and I and my grandparents lived together so I reason that is why I can remember him, at all.

From everything I've ever heard about my grandfather he was an extraordinary man. He was a good provider, working very hard to care for his wife and 8 (8!) children. But he was more than that, as few men were in his time. He was hilarious, always out to make someone laugh. A good prankster he could trick you twice before you figured out he'd done it even once. He was good natured and a natural flirt-all the ladies loved him (apparently). Even though he gave his fair share of winks there was no doubt he loved my grandmother first, loved her only.

Anyway, I can remember distinctly times I spent with him watching the game. We both sat on this big round black leather footstool in the center of the living room, smack dab in front of the television. He'd yell at the television, but being a toddler, I had no clue what was going on so I'd just yell "Yeah!" in agreement with whatever he was shouting. He was the only person who could make me sit still. I was as impressed by him as everyone else was.

I guess the reason I'm thinking about this is that I just spent the last 3 hours thinking and writing about baseball, and baseball related products for the new column. I wrote notes last night, waiting for sleep to take me, and managed to crank out eight pages before it did; the most I've ever managed. Today, it just all fell into place; the easiest it's ever been. I may have been trying a little harder this time than I have the past couple of months, but I think I've just finally hit my stride. I see some things a lot more clearly than I did before. Today, I think my Grandpa would be proud.

The Verdict Is In

2007-09-05T20:29:00.000-04:00

Mark it down!

Bo-Ring

2007-09-03T13:33:00.001-04:00

This weekend was so uneventful, non-eventful, and well, boring that, recounting any moment from the past 48 hours is, to me, likened with that screeching sound accompanying nails on chalkboard. So instead I give you:

20 Things I Definitely Did Not Do This Weekend:

1. Wild gambling on a riverboat

2. Win a round of 'chicken' on a dark deserted highway at 3am

3. Jump back

4. Party like a rock star
6. Frolic with livestock

7. Use the phrase "Well according to Dr. Phil..."
8. Construct a PowerPoint presentation depicting the impact Ozzy Osbourne's "Black Rain"
album has had on my ability to make decisions
9. Square dance
10. Find a use for all my old "punk rock" jewelry.
11. Hurl a vase angrily at the wall behind some unsuspecting person's head
12. Schedule 6am wake up call for whichever one of my friends would be most unsuspecting
13. Learn the "Charlie Brown Theme" on the harpsichord
14. Drink heavily then pass out just short of getting my key in the front door
15. Use 'despot' in a sentence
16. Deep sea harpoon expedition
17. karaoke to Outkast's "Sorry Mrs. Jackson"
18. Write my manifesto
19. Acquire a passport for any illegal means, nor did I acquire one for any legal means.
20. Give a dog a bath

What did you NOT do this weekend?

Paranoid

2007-08-31T02:20:00.000-04:00

It's entirely possible that I'm being haunted.

Driving home tonight, at midnight/'the witching hour' I stopped at the second of four turns I make in order to pull in safely to my apartment, when I looked over and saw this dim, 40 watt bulb kind of light ominously blinking off and on. Off and on. Off and on, in some guys built-in garage. No other lights were on at all on the street and as I drove past I saw no person in the garage. I got chills. Then, a road block was set up in front of the vet's office. I slide up and give my license as asked, and am told to "Be safe out there" and am sent on my way. I contemplate telling the officer about what I'd just witnessed, but as the chills took me again, I decided against turning back.

I make my third turn and notice there are a large number of cats hiding behind the guard rails on the side of the road, and back into the grassy areas beside the country road I'm on. Not so abnormal right?

Getting out of the car I hear a weird screeching sound from over the hill I just came off. I figure a train is headed toward me in the distance, so I go inside, forgetting for the most part about what I'd just seen. I skip turning any lights on and instead rely on the electric candles in my windows to light my way. I change into my pajamas, throw my hair back, and as I'm walking back through the apartment I hear it. Scratching. Something is scratching at my door. And then, no kidding, my power flashes off, then on.

I back up against the wall and try to remember the best way to incapacitate an attacker. Is it the the nose thing? Definitely the nose thing. But, I don't have to think for long as it appears to have stopped after the light returned.

What. The. Hell.

The August(s) of My Discontent

2007-08-30T11:40:00.000-04:00

Even though this whole year has been chock full of sucking, August in particular has been a brutal month*. The 3am phone call from the previous post came from the facility that currently houses my mom. She's sick again and now back at the hospital (though now I've learned that it's not as bad as my imagination wanted to think it was). So after I got dressed, and didn't sleep last night, opting instead to sit on the couch and stare at my cell phone, waiting for a call to action, I started thinking: The past 4 Augusts have been nasty as well. Let's further investigate this matter:

August 2003: Huge fight with former friend, led me to leave work (because I was working for her) and spent most of August thinking about cancer, death, and death by cancer, whilst reading pamphlets on death/cancer in the hospital's waiting area.

August 2004: The reappearance of Cheeseburger Boy. Need I say more?

August 2005: Specifically August 4th, 4:15 A.M. est. An incident occurred that left me more bitter than stale coffee in a dirty mug served in a seedy diner by some one armed guy named 'Mo'. That solitary hour left me bitter well into October when I was very graciously snapped back into the land of sugarplum fairies and bogo sales. August 1st-3rd however, occurred without incident.

August 2006: Not as bad as the previous two, but marked by my first promotion at my previous employer. Spent the time reading company manuals and saying things like "If we refer to page 6, policy 1.4.5 we will see...." (did you fall asleep? I totally did)

August 2007: Apartment hunting, spending a ghastly amount of money on something that I'll never be able to see or touch or even believe was real (so I may as well have set the cash on fire), more mom sickness, and the realization that I actually do have to depend on me and me alone to get everything in order has left me feeling colder than a trek through the Arctic Tundra. And that, my friends, is mighty cold.

If August wasn't so close to being over, instead of facing my fears and sucking it up, I might have been forced to do the unthinkable: But a "I'm not an "Adult": I just play on on T.V." shirt and hide on one for the many closets in my new apartment. I've got 6, so I might not be discovered until my neighbor (Gladys) complained about the smell.

August, I'll be glad to be rid of you!

*Even though the first 10 days were very good

Not Again

2007-08-30T03:27:00.000-04:00

3 am phone calls are never good news.

Crap.

Still Alive.

2007-08-22T21:25:00.000-04:00

Just a quick note to say I'm not dead and it's t-minus 8 days until i get phone service in my NEW APARTMENT and can properly annoy you once again. Have fun until then!

/ Vacation

2007-08-12T22:24:00.000-04:00

This picture makes me almost want another cat. Almost.

So vacation is officially over. It's sad and it stinks. I'll be back in a couple more days with something more interesting than a plant loving cat to show you.

No promises that it'll be cuter though.

News

2007-07-26T11:21:00.000-04:00

Going to be on vacation for the next two weeks. Well, going to be experiencing the vacation of others. I suppose you can't really "be on vacation" when you aren't exactly working (other than the writing, I'm not), can you? I've pre-taken some quizzes and pre-wrote a few posts, but only to keep you warm in the coldest two weeks of August that history has ever known.

Have fun!

Won't Make That Mistake Twice

2007-07-26T03:39:00.000-04:00

It's good that I picked tonight to start watching "So You Think You Can Dance?". I was really in the mood to watch people spaz dance to John Mayer's "Waiting for the World to Change" 20 times.

Looks Like Someone Has A Case Of The Mondays

2007-07-19T00:40:00.001-04:00

I'm behind on:

-Column writing
-Blogging
-Birthdays
-Friend Calling
-Sleep
-Crossing to-dos off my summer list
-Telling anyone about my summer list (oops)
-Reading
-Family time
-Hair care

I've got a case of the blahs. My eye did that crazy Mr. T "I'm gonna get you sucka!" move on me earlier in the week and decided to swell as it is wont to do. I wake up crabby, and immediately and dramatically run back to bed and hide out until it un-swells but not this time. No, this time I didn't even notice until I tried to rub it and the realization "hey I don't have an eyelid on the left" popped in my head. Something must be done. This living arrangement is starting to get on my nerves. :P

ha

2007-07-16T22:16:00.000-04:00

"I had this Uncle who was a farmer in Georgia. He grew everything, apples, green beans, carrots, but mostly corn. He bought a mule to help with the farm work one year, but the mule was really stubborn and it was hard to get him out to work. My uncle finally got him over to the corn field and got him started. Well, it was really hot that day and the corn started to pop and the mule just laid there and died because he thought he was freezing to death."

That corny joke is just one reason why I love old people.

...Of the Ones I Used to Know

2007-07-01T11:35:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I spent the morning like any normal twenty-something would: Watching Haunted Travels and cruising MySpace. My friend, we'll call her Lemissa, sent me a link to my high school boyfriend's page and as charming as his empty 24pk Bud Light case as a hat was, it did nothing for his bone structure. But her finding him there got me thinking about my old friends so I looked them up out of curiosity. Based on the my morning activities, I've come to some conclusions.

1. We need to go to Kansas.
2. Some of my old friends have turned out hilarious and I miss them.
3. Some of my old friends have turned out insane and it's sad that they did.
4. But I miss them too.
5. My cousin is a weirdo who thinks balls are way funnier than they really are.
6. Taking the last two letters off your first name, and wearing your hair spikey does not make you a Norwegian fashion model, but if it did, honey you'd be IT. Until it does, I'm just going to pronounce your name with a silly accent.

The Truth

2007-06-30T23:27:00.000-04:00

Amelia: OMG OMG there are 3 people fighting outside my door because some woman found her boyfriend or whatever with some girl here, and she's all "You don't KNOW Me? I pay your fucking child support every month!" and stuff.
Brandon: sweeet asss
Amelia: I guess Saturday night is Saturday night no matter where you are.

Cut To The Dramatics

2007-06-29T13:06:00.000-04:00

When I was in 3rd grade, I got my waist-length hair cut off in a (horrible) horrible haircut. I felt freer that I'd ever felt in my kid-life, as it was so thick it gave me headaches. My best guy friend Joel C. promptly went home to his mother and cried because of my dramatic follicle separation. According to his mother, he cried "Amelia cut off ALL her hair" over and over again. Our moms, those rare times they still see one another, still like to embarrass Joel with this tale.

A little over a week ago, I went to my hometown Wal-Mart to get Tessa's mom something before I left town. I walked past the hairdressers but wound up making a U-turn and going back. I'd been trying to get my hair cut with my regular lady (the only woman who has ever touched my hair in my fake-adult life) but we've been missing each other since February. So I bit the bullet. I got my almost waist-length hair cut off.

I also got "swoopy" bangs. They're awesome, and I highly recommend them.

When I saw my cousin a few days later, she grabbed my head and turned me around to make sure her eyes weren't tricking her.

"You cut off ALL your hair!" she exclaimed, to which I sighed.

"It's Hair, M. It's only hair."

Baby, I Never Should Have Left.

2007-06-28T00:30:00.000-04:00

I'm homeless.

Whew! Best to get the big news out of the way first, right? Today is day 11 of my unfortunate homelessness. But don't fret: Today also starts week 2 of my temporarily living in an Inn.

To make a very long story shorter, my apartment flooded and in order to fix all the problems that demonic place has bestowed upon itself I had to move everything out so that plumbers and construction workers and whomever else my landlord could think of could rip and tear the inside out and start all over again. Since my lease was going to be up on the 20th anyway, I opted not to renew and instead just figured I'd take my chances. I had 4 days to move out before they started. 4 days to pack 6 years of life into a 17 foot U-haul and transport it across town to store in a 10x20 storage box. I found, that unless you are a master organizer you cannot fit 6 years of life, and school work and GIANT furniture (really, have you seen that treadmill? or the couch for that matter?). So I filled up the space and whatever was leftover was either donated, tossed, or given to my very nosy, very greedy neighbors, who in the last days of my residency there traipsed through my residence with hungry eyes (but not the sexy Patrick Swayze kind) asking things like "You're throwing THAT away?" or "I've been looking for one of those!"

Honestly! You were really looking for a battered ride-along pony circa 1985? Good thing I had one!

I think the last straw was when I saw a neighbor climb into the dumpster for a frigging roll or wrinkled strawberry shortcake gift wrap. Come on people!

It was all finally over last Tuesday and I've been apartment/house hunting ever since. There were no tears like when I moved in... just a loud "whoop!" of joy as I crossed the bridge. I'm so very happy that I have left the state. West Virginia (mostly just Huntington to my WV loving friends!), you stink. As I don't expect to live in the area more than another year (or so, no rush) It's good to know for the remainder of my time here, I will once again be a Kentucky lady.

Even though I have to return back to Huntington every day, it doesn't feel the same. It feels good, really good, to think "I don't live there anymore."

...And the Nightmare Continues

2007-06-13T09:46:00.000-04:00

So, turns out that the damage was worse that I was originally aware, and now, they're going to have to do some major reconstructing work on the flooring which will start in about a week. At that time, I will have to leave until it's finished and according to my landlord:

"You're moving anyway right? Why don't you just go 'head and do it and we'll comp this month's rent"

Just like it's that easy.

Can I scream yet?

I'll Be Counting the Days....

2007-06-12T21:41:00.000-04:00

Today started off with good intentions. I woke up early, cleaned a little bit, walked on the treadmill while contemplating buying "The Firm" stuff from the infomercial (my decision: It looks hard, and I'm lazy) and then began primping my desktop for the long summer days ahead until I figure out what is wrong with my dear Lappy. I even had a nice conversation with HB via IM and cooked dinner to take over to my mom.

Cut to me in the shower around 2pm. I'm in full conditioner mode when I think I hear my front door slam. Seconds later I hear "Are you crazy!? Turn that water off right now!" and my response is a resounding scream of terror. Then, I hear an embellished sigh and call out my landlords name.

"No it's the **** Pope! Turn the water off!" he answered me politely.

So I did as told and we had that awkward moment where he realized I was naked, and so did I (and that I'd left my towels in the linen closet). So, he mumbled he'd be back in 5 minutes and explain the problem. Wobbly-kneed, I managed to get to my bedroom and stop shaking enough to get dressed before he got back.

Apparently the main water line (the one that takes all the water out I think?) was busted and my shower and dish washing rampage had watered my lawn quite nicely. Plumbers traipsed in and out all afternoon, as I sat idly by reading, switching between "The Memory Keeper's Daughter" and Martha Stewart Living until finally, around 8pm they left.

Just in time, because the conditioner I'd had to leave in my hair was really starting to drive me crazy. *shudder*

That is the 6th water-related problem I've had living here, in as many years. That makes the second main-line problem this year, the first leaving considerably more damage. The first question on my list now for potential landlords after "What's the rent?" is "How's the water?".

Losing My Mind

2007-06-11T00:05:00.000-04:00

So Lappy (the Laptop) and I are on the outs. First it was this freaky blue screen that forbade me from getting online, and two days and several feeble attempts later, the blue screen is fixed. But now, when I get online nothing will load. I don't deal well with problems I have no clue how to fix.

My solution? Go high school on Lappy's ass. Totally get a new laptop and then makeout with it right in front of Lappy so he goes home totally devistated and tries to cry to his friend via IM but he can't because he can't get online.

That'll teach him.

The Big News

2007-06-02T12:05:00.000-04:00

Let's go ahead and get this out of the way shall we?

-So, I'm moving. I've talked to my landlord and we've done the walk through and I have to be out by August first. I'm not going too far however; Maybe not even leaving the city. If things go as planned, I'll be in a place a teensy bit south of here. I'm sort of "Adult-Petrified" right now, but I'm good. I think. But I don't think I'd turn down some strong arms and a pair of willing-to-move-furniture-downstairs legs!

-My mom is doing much better than she was. She did wind up having her leg amputated, below the knee. She spent a total of 6 weeks in the hospital and has been in rehab for a week and a few days. She has stood up on her own one time, and we consider that a huge accomplishment. If all goes well, she'll be sprung by August. I couldn't be more proud if I tried.

-I, unfortunately, have to return to my 'real' job by the 8th of the month. I really, REALLLLLY don't want to. Everything has changed, and I'm going to feel completely disoriented about it. But I'll survive. It is just work, after all. But, one can only read and nap (well, in hospital chairs...not so comfy) for so long before having to return to the real world.

Rant

2007-05-17T22:09:00.000-04:00

Could Grey's Anatomy gotten any crappier tonight? Now I KNOW they are just trying to cause me a tear-induced headache.

And I hate that girl who is going to be Lexie Gray. HATE HER. You might also know her as "Janie Briggs" in Not Another Teen Movie.

Still Kickin'

2007-05-13T21:14:00.000-04:00

I just looked down to see the classic "don't throw away!" warning tag (trashcan with an x on it) dangling from my new headphones. I must wonder, if they aren't fit for the trash, how are they fit for wearing atop my head? What are they made of!?

So I've been sort of preoccupied this past (almost) month since I last blogged. A lot has been happening. My mom wound up having part of her foot amputated and 10 days later had a follow up 'cleaning' of sorts. Now, we're basically back at square one, and, if she chooses to do so, is going to have a 'below-the-knee' amputation of her leg on Tuesday. She'll lose her leg up to her calf, but the recovery time is much faster this way-three weeks as opposed to the 6 months or so we're looking at now. Compared to what she's been going through it will most likely be in her best interest to go on with it, the doctor's say. She's developed a psychosis while in the hospital, or had a stroke, they don't know, which causes her to think she's not where she's supposed to be sometimes. She feels like she's falling and forgets who she is, who I am, and never can grasp what you're saying to her during those moments. They thought at first it may have been her medication, but after taking it all away, she still had bouts of it. Today it only lasted 4 hours. That's a good day.

In order to take care of all the things I'm going to have to take care of in the coming weeks I've been taking a leave of absence at work, which was supposed to allow me up to 12 weeks to come back. Last Friday, or week 2 of my l.o.a., I was graciously informed by my boss that it can only be 4 weeks, not 12. So, I think I'm giving my job up at the end of the month. There's not much else I can do unless things turn around quickly. In the next couple of weeks I have to find an apartment/rental house, buy a new car (yay!), pack for both of us, have one helluva yard sale, and move, all but the last two by myself. Technically, I've never moved before. When we moved here, I lived here for nearly a month before any of my stuff did. I went home on the weekends and randomly brought things up of my own, and when the big day came, mainly furniture remained. I've never had to pack. Sucko.

And did I mention I was in process of trying to become a work from home business owner? Yeah...there's that too. Baby stages, but it's looking promising. That would potentially be a load off my mind.

So, things are going to be a little touch and go, for a while longer here at SCC. I'm still writing my column/editorial every week and I've graduated from my training. So, as promised I'll tell where I've been hiding. You can find me every Monday here. As of right now, it's just articles, but eventually I'll have time to properly maintain forum discussions (nerdy!), and also accept materials for review. That will be when the fun really begins.

Speaking of my column/editorial, I need to go write it now. But, before I go I will leave you with this:

Did you know that they make "personal" watermelons now? They are the size of a baby head and twice as delicious. Brandon told me. ;)

Alone

2007-04-16T23:00:00.000-04:00

Last week, my mom brushed lips with death. She came very close to losing her life over something that seemed pretty insignificant-a chest cold. She had been in the hospital the week prior to the ordeal for a pre-op stress test. She went back with Congestive Heart Failure and an infection in her blood so bad that it made her completely forget who I am. I took her to the ER last Thursday to find these things out. The surgery she was having the pre-op testing for has been postponed several times over the last two months, for extra cautious testing and illness. Now, (and possibly before as well) she will be losing her left foot. The only thing she possibly will keep is her heel, and even that is probably not happening. Worst case scenario would be losing all of it, plus an additional 3-4 inches above her ankle. Prosthetics are available after both surgeries, but she may or may not be able to use them. She'll be completely out of commission for about six weeks, and will go to rehab for some help learning to live without a part of her body. I will have six weeks to make my home wheel-chair accessible, which means I basically have six weeks to move to a place with no stairs. All by myself. Even after all that she may end up in a 'rest home'.

Needless to say, the last few weeks have been hard. When I haven't been working or at the hospital, I've been worrying or worrying until I finally just pass out from exhaustion-usually in the middle of a conversation with Brandon. While HB has gotten used to it, I haven't. Nor have I gotten used to bursting into tears in the middle of the afternoon when I spot a happy mother/daughter duo in my rear-view mirror.

I can't cry in front of my mom. It might break her heart. I know when she does, it breaks mine.

All I can do is make sure she knows that no matter what happens, that she's going to be okay. That we are going to be okay. Then I'll hold her hand and hope someone stops by to hold mine. I think I'm going to be needing some of that.

Kaboom

2007-03-30T21:49:00.000-04:00

Allergies + Cold = Wow. I feel terrible!

Please enjoy this article I came across today on Wired: Very Short Stories. Also, feel free to write your own and post them in the comments. I could use some entertainment while my head decides whether it's going to explode or not.

My Favorites:

We kissed. She melted. Mop please!
- James Patrick Kelly

It’s behind you! Hurry before it
- Rockne S. O’Bannon

Spam! Vol. 7

2007-03-20T01:00:00.000-04:00

The spammers are getting more creative with their emails of late. Instead of just confusing me into opening such titles as "Vxoqlt!" or trying to tempt with titles like "Mr. Big" they're trying to make me desperately want to open them. How are they doing this? By not.finishing.their.stories.

The first is from Rosaline Q. Fontenote (cute name)

"The proper angle for setting up a ladder is to place its base one quarter of the working length of the ladder from the wall or o "

...other area? office? overpass? TELL ME! I might need to place a ladder properly someday.

And this one, from a mystery person simply named "XL"

"And though they never have sex together, there is an intimacy between the two that goes beyond the sexual, and ventures into the "

past? bakery? Oh! I know....Twilight Zone. Perfect!

A Little Bookish

2007-03-19T01:17:00.000-04:00

The Guardian recently published the Top 100 Books You Can't Live Without. So, in honor of the list I give you, my top ten books I can't live without.

1) The Time Traveler's Wife-Audrey Niffenegger
2) Dandelion Wine-Ray Bradbury
3) A Farewell To Arms-Ernest Hemingway
4) Time Windows-Kathryn Reiss (childhood staple)
5) The Brain Box-(ditto!)
6) Matilda-Roald Dahl
7) Gone With the Wind-Margaret Mitchell
8) To Kill A Mockingbird-Harper Lee
9) Carrie Pilby-Caren Lissner
10) Frankenstein-Mary Shelley

So, what would your top 10 books be? While you're thinking about your favorites, why don't you pick a few-or any books for that matter, and come on over to The Review, a new publicly postable review site, (more accurately, a branch of Brandon's website) and tell us why you love your favorites. Just pick a username and post a review. Very simple!

So Mandy, Tessa, and anyone else who likes to read, come visit The Review!

March 18th

2007-03-18T02:58:00.000-04:00

Some years ago today, my Aunt Frances was born. As my Grandmother looked down at what would turn out to be her last child, I wonder if she knew what a special person she and my Grandfather had just brought into the world. From the stories I hear passed amongst my family, she has been a wonder all her life, these days topping her own personal best with each new year.

When she wanted to play guitar, she got a teacher. Now she writes songs and has even been to the recording studio a couple of times, allowing professional singers mix their voices with her words to make a satisfying combination.

When she wanted to change her life, shake things up a little, she set her mind to it and is now happier and more content with things than I think she had been for some time beforehand.

One of my most important memories is of my Aunt. I was 4 and she was preparing to get married and leave for Florida, where she would live for the next 8 years. She danced with me in the middle of the living room, singing "Tea For Two". Now, when I hear that song it always puts a smile on my face, and frankly, it doesn't happen often enough.

Years later, when I was in sixth grade, she came to visit and in a matter of hours had charmed my hellkitten, Kansas. Something I had tried for months to do, she managed in a day. I stared in amazement as Kansas curled right up and slept that night with her. To me, that was magical. She had 'the touch'.

My aunt has always been there for me even in my most idiotic, unglamorous moments. She offers support when I need it, and guidance when I am lost. She is the kind of family you want to have, and the kind of family you hope you are or wish you could be. She is one of my biggest fans and cheerleaders, and I hope she knows that I am one of hers too. I am proud of the person she grew up to be, and I feel it a privilege to know her.

The birthday card I bought her this year pretty much sums it up:

"You don't get to pick your relatives, but I just wanted you to know, If a vote ever comes up, I'm keeping you"

Happy Birthday Sissy.

Whew!

2007-03-16T08:12:00.000-04:00

Radio Update: All done! My oh my, was that scary. But I did it!

Also it's HB's Birthday!! I couldn't think of a better day to be embarrassed publicly.

Soooo...Yeah!

2007-03-15T00:19:00.000-04:00

So, if anyone is going to be awake around, say 7:06 am on Friday March 16th I'm going to be interviewed on the radio. It's a nationally syndicated morning show hosted by two stand up comedians, but it isn't available in our area. However, if you would happen to be online at that time, you can listen to if on their section of the Greenstone Media* website.

It's all because of the 'column' I mentioned that I'm writing now. We will be discussing planning a Saint Patrick's Day party, so boys, sorry in advance....you're going to be bored. Maybe I can charm you with my accent. I must warn you though, I'll be picturing all of you in your underwear.

I'm not ready to give the link up to my articles yet, I'm still not sure I don't suck. : ) But if you hear it mentioned, feel free to take a peek.

*the one Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda helped found!!

Home

2007-03-11T03:18:00.000-04:00

A great lady died this week.

My Aunt Ruth played a big part in my life, growing up. When my mom started working for the company she eventually retired from, I'd hop off the school bus at my aunt's house and stay with her until I fell asleep, waking up in my own bed the next morning, mysteriously. She always had a warm smile and a lot of hugs to give. She taught me to play the piano.... badly, but that last part isn't her fault. She taught me to sew. She loved me in the most important of ways: Without holding back.

So I correct myself:

The greatest lady died this week.

And I am going to miss her.

Regular posting to resume this week.

It's All Heads Up Pennies

2007-03-01T23:20:00.000-05:00

I can now add the words "Journalist/Columnist/Writer" (not at the same time, mind you) to my resume. After my 30 day trial period has ended, if I don't suck, I'll be writing for one of the top women's websites on a specific subject: One that I'm particularly good at. After the trial period is over, and I have in fact proven that I do not suck, I'll post the link, but for now in case of major suckdom, I'm being coy. Also, depending on several factors, I'll either be getting free stuff or cash. I can handle that.

March 1st definitely doesn't suck.

I hope I don't suck.

Oops

2007-02-22T10:52:00.000-05:00

Alan Thicke is working for the Animal Planet now. That's like if Mario Lopez hosted his own......

oh, wait.

It's Official

2007-02-21T13:19:00.000-05:00

There's nothing scarier...

than being in Wal-Mart, at night, when the power goes off and THEN when it comes back on, going outside to find your car in the powerless parking lot, with only the creepy-orange glow of city lights below.

There's nothing sadder...

than being in Wal-Mart at 11pm buying nothing but plastic storage totes , and single-serve frozen dinners, both for work.

My life is so exciting.

Just to Prove That I Knew How, Yeah

2007-02-19T00:15:00.000-05:00

There is no sheet of paper big enough in this world to write this week's to-do list on.

I've got the homemade equivalent of an atomic fireball in my mouth at this very moment-a futile attempt at clearing this dry-heat sinus headache I have going. My teeth keep sticking together, but so far, so good. Sometimes, Valentine's day gifts (thanks again Wendy!) can serve more than one purpose.

Today was spent sleeping, reading the Sunday paper, and taking a drive in the snow to acquire some much-needed caffeine.

Work has become a chore, and I've never in my life been good at those. Somedays, playing mediator is not one bit easy. "All we can do, is our best" comes out of my mouth more than I mean it to. It seems that I'm tethered to my cell phone due to work even when I'm off or work knows that I'm supposed to be unavailable at a certain time. During those (albeit rare) times, it rings nonstop. And these 5am calls HAVE to stop. I don't go to sleep until 3 most days, and for Pete's sake, it's retail. Get a grip.

This past week, for non-work related reasons has been particularly stressful. But we needn't talk about that.

I think I need to go to my happy place. If you need me, I'll be listening to "Ice Ice Baby" and doing my nails.

I Swear, I Swear I Will Do My Part

2007-02-15T23:34:00.000-05:00

In honor of Random Acts of Kindness week, and due to the fact that I just found out and can't imagine I'll be doing anything other than allowing someone to go home early from work as my act this week, I give you:

Awesome Links I've Been Hiding From You v. 2.0 (in retro vision!)

Library Thing Librarything lets you catalog your books online in public or private format. You can also link your list to your cell phone (if you're fancy) so you can cross reference when you're out shopping.

Music-Map Just type in an artist and you'll get similar artists, in order of, erm, similarity in a neat "floating" map format. English majors and high schoolers will particularly dig this.

Written World She knows books.

Wordie Make lists, find obscure words, comment on words, etc, words, etc.

Favorite Poem Project People reading their favorite poems.

Grazr No, it's not a new phone from Verizon. Grazr puts all the fun back into RSS feeds by letting you utilize them without a subscription. Just look at it, they do a much better job explaining than I ever could.

Ma.gnolia Sort of like Stumble...only you know, not.

Defective Yeti Funny guy and his blog

Neatorama The name says it all, but I would like to point out this.

Charm School Simply lovely writing

MadeWithLoveByHannah Home of quite possibly the cutest skirt evah.

V-Day

2007-02-14T02:09:00.000-05:00

Today while perusing Amazon for Valentines day gift ideas I came across their list of what NOT to buy your loved one this holiday, and I must say, it kind of killed the mood for me. Not only was I hoping to Give my honey a Gallon of Wolf Urine this year, I was also ready to pop on a pair of cleavage cupcakes tonight and read from "Fart Proudly...." in my best sexy voice.

Thanks a lot Amazon, another Holiday ruined!

Word of the Day

2007-02-09T10:17:00.000-05:00

Sad Pancakes: v. When you get out in 15 degree ice-capped weather to go to McDonald's and get pancakes you've wanted since Tuesday and when you get them home you look down in your bag to see that alas, they have failed to give you syrup.

"You Poor Thing"

2007-02-01T22:50:00.000-05:00

I had to put my mom in the hospital today. It's a long story that I doubt anyone wants to hear so I'll just say she'll be fine. Her nurse's assistant looks just like TLB. It's seriously uncanny.

This is the first night I've been alone in 363 days. Not that I'm counting. It's weird and I can't figure out what to do with myself other than clean, and obviously, waste time on the internet.

If anyone wants me, you should probably give my cell phone a ring for the next few days rather than my home number.

The End Of The Innocence

2007-02-01T01:17:00.000-05:00

It's no secret that the Golden Girls is my absolute favorite show. So when in late 2005ish/early 2006ish they began showing the never-before-seen-with-my-eyes spin-off, "Golden Palace" I tuned in. Even though it wasn't all that fantastic, I watched as I was loyal to my girls...even watching several repeats in a short period of time.

(warning: This may ruin your perception too)

Then one night Miles came to visit Rose. Blanche had mistakenly convinced Rose that he was cheating on her....but it turned out to not be a mistake. Miles basically had been seeing a waitress on the side for a year or so and had decided to go with her. Rose was crushed, and frankly, so was I.

Miles was the kind of man the (tv) ladies dream about....until that moment. After that, he was like all those other (tv) men. Scandalous.

I can't watch the 'Miles' episodes anymore. Breaks my heart. It's weird how a character can effect you so much.

Soap & Water

2007-01-30T00:13:00.000-05:00

-My birthday was awesome. I got tons of presents and emails and calls from people I would never have expected to remember, and even flowers delivered to my work by a dude wearing a white vest with red poppies on it who sang a very unexpected chorus of "They say it's your birthday" to me. It doesn't get much better than that.

-I've been working 60 hour weeks all month due to my boss having a family emergency. She's coming back tomorrow and I couldn't be happier. I've lost sleep and patience and what little bit of my mind I had left. We were already one office person short so I've been doing the work of 3 people for longer than I thought possible. 'Stressed' does not even begin to describe the state of my existence this month. However, just when I was feeling it the worst, the other boss (big poppa/grand dragon) called to commend me on a job well done. Then I realized I was kicking some serious ass and things have been better since.

-I could sleep for 700 hours and still be worn out. This is only a slight exaggeration.

-Speaking of sleep....please enjoy the Top 100 Tracks of 2006 (with downloadable links!) so I can get some. Sleep, that is.

And By The Way

2007-01-23T01:17:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to ME!

As my family pointed out to me at my party Sunday, this is the last year one box of candles will do up my cake. Now my only options are numbers, or the fire department on standby.

But, even as the old lady jokes POUR in (I do prefer the pink walker HB) the little sentiments in between make it easy to take them in stride.

Of Note:
"You're the best friend I've ever had or ever will have. And that's just fine by me" Of all the words we've ever written each other those have to be my favorite.

Best Friends are the greatest.

So Glad You Stayed

2007-01-22T22:39:00.000-05:00

Picture It: 2004: Wal-Mart's Tire and Lube Center. I'm sitting in the little room, waiting for an oil change and rotation, flipping through whatever magazine I'd just bought. I barely notice that someone walks past the door, then rounds back again. I look up after feeling slightly creeped out to find a guy staring at me. This particular guy, I had basically given the brush off to almost two years prior to that particular day. I sit there in silence waiting for him to say something. He's silent and still for a moment, then he whipped his left hand up next to his cheek and gave me a crazed sort of look. He pointed to his ring finger and to the gold band and said "Bet you wish you said yes now!" and ran (yes, RAN like a big ole' dork) out into the store.

Picture It: 2007: Saturday night:Work. Crazy guy and I'm assuming Mrs. Crazy guy are in my POE when I round the corner to grab some 'every Saturday night' paperwork, and, catching site of them, I stop short. I watched as he poked her in the side and whispered something to her; something that I'm sure was to the effect of "There's the lesbo that turned me down!" And her face changed. She gave me a strange look, not angry...but..blank.

I thought back to why I had turned him down and I knew why. He was unemployed, bald (and to a 19 year old that's horrifying), drove a motorcycle exclusively, and had an uncomfortable obsession with the 80s. No one has ever thanked her for taking one for the team. So thank you, girl who looks suspiciously like his best friend, for taking this colossal hit for the team. We salute you.

Campfire and Special Feelings Sold Seperately

2007-01-10T21:20:00.000-05:00

According the TV Guide Channel, one of their picks for tonight's "Family Fave" is a classic Charlie's Angels episode whose plot line reads "A girl is abused by a pimp".

Nice!

I Married A Griswald

2007-01-09T22:17:00.000-05:00

I keep waiting for something excellent to happen to blog about, but honestly, the past few weeks have sort of blown, leaving little time to sleep, much less spend quality time with the internets.

The Highlights:

-Christmas started off well, but, due to a parental accident on the way out the door wound up not being Christmas at all-for the second year in a row. (Holiday rooooaaad.....)
-As a result, I sort of had a mini nervous breakdown. Lots of crocodile tears and unintelligible words, but I'm better now. I needed it.
-Work has been busier than ever, leaving me completely exhausted. I have just enough energy left to talk to hb before falling into a delirious, albeit shallow, sleep. But that's something I have to do, like shopping, and breathing.
-A mystery cold that's had it's hold on me off and on for two weeks.
-A very sick, very whiny parent. 4 days and counting.
-One creepy guy from my past (I used to be his boss) who came on to me so strong, on more than one occasion, that I filed a complaint against him at his P.O.E. (where these incidents happened) He won't get in trouble unless he does it again.
-If anyone wants to see Sir Creepiness I'll be more than happy to send you his myspace link ;)

There have been a couple of constant goods the whole time, though mentioning them at this point would be sort of awkward, and possibly a jinx. But it's good....possibly the best thing ever. Hopefully by my birthday (two weeks from tuesday) things will have evened out a little bit.

Then all I will have to do is sit back and wait for vacation, 64 days and counting.

This May Come Up Again, During Festivus

2006-12-22T14:05:00.000-05:00

"Eddie Murphy shaved his head to go on Oprah"

"Eh...He's probably just going bald"

"Maybe. He sure has come a long way."

"What do you mean?"

"Well he's come a long way for someone who, as a kid got sent to their aunt's house for always getting into trouble."

"Um....Mom? Are you getting Eddie Murphy confused with Will Smith's character on 'Fresh Prince of Bel Air?"

" (*after a pause) Yes...but you will tell no one."

"I will tell EVERYone"

My whole heart was in the dark

2006-12-17T22:23:00.000-05:00

"Wearing a mask of false bravado" has to be the best line from any song from the 70s/80s, bar none.

This has to be the weirdest month of the whole year. Quite possibly the worst and a close second of the best, all at the same time. Definitely the hardest. I'm trying to be a better me, one person/thing at a time.

My mom has a diabetic degenerative disease called Sharcot (shark-o), that effects the flow of blood to her feet. Current she has it only in one foot, but she has to wear a cast, and be on the closest thing to bed rest that she can be, which is just minor activity and no leaving the house. She'll be in the cast for a minimum of 3 months,up to six. It's been nearly two weeks, and not a fun two weeks at that. We may be spending Christmas alone again this year...hopefully not though. It sucks.

In addition to that, the day it happened in fact, I got the promotion I was waiting on. I'm not doing a lot more than I was before, but it's more complex, so more time at work,when I really need to be spending less. I wasn't aware that was possible.

In addtion to that, I've been doing all the Christmas shopping,making 6 presents, and attending 4 birthday parties, one school recital, throwing a Christmas party, then planning one for work, which hasn't left much time for little things like blogging, and sleeping. I've been reading blogs, but not responding, and every time I tried to post something it sounded way more depressing than it should. I'm just stressed, not depressed. I must admit though, HB has kept me sane.

I've also had bloggers block lately....so I purchased the highly reviewed Maggie Mason's book "No One Cares What You Had for Lunch"
so maybe things will liven up soon.

I've got a long-awaited trip planned down south in a couple months, set in flint, in case anything may happen. Vacation here I come.

Oh, and my cousin had the twins. : )

Ahhh...Christmas

2006-12-03T02:22:00.000-05:00

One guest cancelled at the last minute because their dog is sick.
One guest called for directions at 2pm and I'm still waiting on them to show up. I'm not holding my breath...
One guest walked into my 'suspicious' acting neighbor's house by mistake and yelled "Is this where the party's at!??"
One guest regaled the others with a tale of old women giving birth to stone babys.
One guest let it slip to another what I had laying there for her under my tree.

I...
-Only spent half the morning baking
-Only threw/cursed at 1 thing in frustration
-Only SET MYSELF ON FIRE once.
-Got so many compliments on everything...stuff, awesome-fantastico tree, cooking, even my skirt that my head barely made it through the door of my bedroom.

I was so mad last year, I forgot how much I love Christmas. Sometimes I can be kinda...dumb.

Arg

2006-11-30T02:11:00.000-05:00

There's nothing like ripping a big hole in your finger late on a Sunday and then not be able to find anyone to help to make you feel loved. My left (and dominent) hand is virtually useless this week. It hurt....but I'll live.

Also, there's nothing like seeing that "We Are Marshall" movie commercial like, 500 times and not being able to find the remote. Enough already...sheesh.

PS Worker's comp, I really dislike you. >:

PPS. Perky will return next time. Hopefully

Suck-o

2006-11-26T01:33:00.000-05:00

If this weekend were a guy, it would totally be that guy who went out with you once, told you he really liked you so you would make out with him in the backseat, then would drop you off at the head of the block and speed off before you got to your door, never to be heard from again with the exception of one random drunken dial in mid-December.

Him: Jerk.
You: Crushed.

Quickies

2006-11-21T21:35:00.000-05:00

Sooo wow.... things have done a lot of changing in a short amount of time. Aside from the realization that, hey, I'm becoming a responsible adult (401k AND solo insurance.... seriously, when did THAT happen?) my little slice of the world has been strange.

Here are the highlights:

-Continuing on my quest for company domination (or lots o' ca$h) I will be abdicating my swivel chair as bottom-of-the-totem-pole Manager Betty and movin' on up to Ast. Manager. Right hand (wo)man. Taking my place right next to the king: More paperwork/stress/money. Less time off/fun. Effective Monday. Awesome.

-I went Christmas Tree shopping yesterday. I looked at green trees, white trees, prelit trees, and upside down trees (tempting), and came home last night after five hours with a silver tree....think garland silver. Don't be grossed out yet. It's cute, as confirmed by several eye witnesses, and the fact that I bought the last one. I'll take a picture, as soon as I put it up. Thanksgiving night, if I haven't passed out from turkey euphoria.

The Sweetest Thing

2006-11-15T15:25:00.000-05:00

Before you get any crazy ideas, it's for my cousin.

This made me coo, ooh, ahh, and all those other disgusting sounds people make over baby clothes. When I saw the matching hats, I thought my heart was going to break because the sweetness was too much. One month from today there should be someone here to fill that sweater.

The best part? I got to buy two. TWINS!

TLB Strikes Again

2006-11-14T01:16:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had one of those days where you just know something is throw you off? I knew it was going to happen eventually. TLB and I crossed paths for the first time in 6 weeks today. The first and only time we've spoke since I sort of 'broke up' with her. I say sort of because they way I did it was sort of childish, but not uncommon as she'd already done it to me three times in two years.

Anyway, I rounded the corner on my way to pick up a case of that luscious substance I call caffeine and there she was, eyeballing my prize. I turned quickly and headed in the opposite direction, hoping to avoid a shouting match (because she's that kind of girl) in the middle of Wal-Mart. That's a level of classy I hope to never attain. Sadly she did see me, and headed me off at the head of that aisle.

"I called you the morning of the wedding" She began as my knees turned to jelly. "Why didn't you come to my wedding?"

I swallowed that lump in my throat, looked her square in the eye and said "I just couldn't" and before she could ask me again, I said "I have to go, see you around" and took off. She tried to follow me, but I gave her a dirty look and she stayed behind.

On the way home I realized that I had made the right choice. Leaving her behind was good for me: Healthy. She didn't ask me why I had stopped calling her. She wanted to know why I hadn't come to her wedding. To avoid this conflict in the future (as I'm sure we'll be running into each other again) I'm probably going to wind up emailing/writing her and telling her exactly why I didn't come to her wedding. Apparantly it's a mystery, and I'm just a bad example for the next volume of the Miss Manners Guerilla Field Guide: Friendship Etiquette.

UGH

2006-11-12T00:28:00.000-05:00

One of the grossest things I've ever seen......

Was Sandra Lee buttering the inside skin of a turkey. You could see her hand moving around under the skin...like it was Alien for game birds.

No offense to the queen of Semi-Homemade. It was gross, but I'm sure it was delicious.

Because I Almost Cried In The Checkout Line

2006-11-10T13:53:00.000-05:00

Nine more monthes until I can wipe the furrow from my brow. That's not such a long time, if you think (hard) about it. Nine more monthes until things will return to normal and I can forget that someone invaded my privacy almost four years ago and violated my financially. The past couple of monthes have been unpleasant to say the least, but gone. Like the wind. And the outcome isn't nearly as bad as it was originally thought to be.

And um...while we're dealing with tough situations.....

Is anyone else upset about the Reese/Ryan split? I've never really cared about celebrity gossip, but damn, it bothered me.

Caught

2006-11-10T13:49:00.000-05:00

Yep. You caught me. I'm a scrapbooker.

Mornings Like This

2006-11-02T16:35:00.000-05:00

So the other day I woke up way too early for work and was bored. Convienently, it was also Halloween. So I made some Haunted cupcakes for my coworkers. .

Orange, for the faint of heart
Purple for ghost lovers
Green for the monsters
(All make your tongue festive)

Also, one very special cupcake for the lady who had a birthday last Saturday. I call it the Nasty Cake.

While the cupcakes were baking, I whipped up some soap. Homemade, but not from scratch.

Mornings like this make me feel so much better about the things I actually accomplish. Even if it is just cupcakes.