2007, You Sure Did A Number On Me.

I saw someone deal drugs Thursday of last week.

I had to have someone arrested (the receiver of the drugs) where I work on Saturday.

I had to sit there and listen to this kid beg me not to, because he was already on probation, had to sit there and listen to him lie to me about having weed and a pipe there. At first I believed him, then I found his hiding spot. My boss made me call, and I agreed, because, well if you knew what I've had to put up with this past month you'd know that something just had to give.

So I called the police and sat there nervously clenching my fists until they arrived. They took the kid to a small room in the back to read him his rights and discuss the problem. Hearing someone say those words outside of a movie was surreal. I sat there in my office staring straight ahead, tears falling down my face until well after they'd left. The other person there with me having to finish up for me.

This whole month has kind of been like that: Surreal. My life this year doesn't really even feel like mine anymore. I've got more of a social life now than I did this time last year, but the only difference is I didn't want or need it last year. Things have been rough with my family, hb, and personally all this month and it's been taking it's toll on me this past few weeks. I don't know if it's just because I'm unaccessible right now, or if there's something genuinely wrong, but it feels crazy. Not like my life at all. I'd trade all the nights watching my friends play cards until they pitch over, drunk (I'm the dd, by the way), all the movies we've watched, and all the PS3 games I've played since we had early Christmas, and anything else I could just for a little bit of my old life back.

I never thought I'd miss it, but God, do I miss being boring. I miss my family, hb, and being normal. Being slightly naive, totally loved, fairly happy, comfortable in my own skin. I miss being me.