So Glad You Stayed

Picture It: 2004: Wal-Mart's Tire and Lube Center. I'm sitting in the little room, waiting for an oil change and rotation, flipping through whatever magazine I'd just bought. I barely notice that someone walks past the door, then rounds back again. I look up after feeling slightly creeped out to find a guy staring at me. This particular guy, I had basically given the brush off to almost two years prior to that particular day. I sit there in silence waiting for him to say something. He's silent and still for a moment, then he whipped his left hand up next to his cheek and gave me a crazed sort of look. He pointed to his ring finger and to the gold band and said "Bet you wish you said yes now!" and ran (yes, RAN like a big ole' dork) out into the store.

Picture It: 2007: Saturday night:Work. Crazy guy and I'm assuming Mrs. Crazy guy are in my POE when I round the corner to grab some 'every Saturday night' paperwork, and, catching site of them, I stop short. I watched as he poked her in the side and whispered something to her; something that I'm sure was to the effect of "There's the lesbo that turned me down!" And her face changed. She gave me a strange look, not angry...but..blank.

I thought back to why I had turned him down and I knew why. He was unemployed, bald (and to a 19 year old that's horrifying), drove a motorcycle exclusively, and had an uncomfortable obsession with the 80s. No one has ever thanked her for taking one for the team. So thank you, girl who looks suspiciously like his best friend, for taking this colossal hit for the team. We salute you.