Misleading Sun

The sun is misleading today. From inside it beckons you "Come bask in me, it's a warm day out. Come now! Without a coat!!" then when you run to soak up some of it's warm love, after your door slams behind you (it's locked and you forgot your keys btw) the sun casts a shadow 'pon your house and chuckles saying "Dummy! Didn't you call the weather line? It's only 24 out here! Only a nut would leave without a coat!"


Then you have to huddle by the generator behind your house in order to stay warm until someone comes home to let you in. *




*none of this actually happend*

Everybody Else Is Doing It

I gave my room a good once over this week and I found something I'd been looking for since the summer. It was a much used, very tattered binder which contains a lot of stuff I've written over the years. Things that date back to high school. I found it under my bed in a rubbermaid tote. I pulled them out, and leaned back against my bed frame and read some of the things I wrote. Most of them were funny. I cracked myself up reading stuff I'd had to write for creative composition. I think my favorite was on the topic "Pretend your character getting dressed in the morning, and your sneakers are mad at you. Write a scenario in which they discuss the problem with you and you resolve the issue." My character's problem? He was stepping in too much dog poop. *Nods* They didn't want to go anywhere with him because of that. But that's not really why I'm writing.

I remember that I used to be able to write anytime, under any circumstance, with any mood. I used to write poems like crazy. Some that were like something Shel Silverstein would write, some from the bottom of my broken heart, some just because there was nothing on tv. As I got to the more recent stuff (all styles) I realized something. It appears that I can only write when something unsavory happens, or when I'm feeling melancholy. I'm having trouble just forming this into coherant paragraphs (and I'm not even positive I'm doing that.) I think I need to take a class. Or maybe, just figure out how to reverse my maturity. Maybe I can do funny once again if I were mentally 15 again? It might not, but I'm willing to try.


Get me a YM and Seventeen magazine STAT. I need the telephone for 8 hours too please!

22 Going on 100

Things I don't understand (that make me suspect I am old):



-Why I suddenly seem to know all the songs on the oldies station

-Why pants seem to belong well above the ankle and tucked into tube socks now

-Hair that's long on one side, and 'burr cut' length on the other

-Anything when TyPedliKeThISandWITHNoPuncTuatioN

-Bratz (well, I understand them...they just scare me a little...those heads!)

- New technology

-Most Slang

-Why hobbies that used to seem lame to me suddenly seem interesting.

Things I Have Yet To Figure Out

Things I Have Yet To Figure Out:


Why I always lose my ice scraper

Why "2 for $2.00" is better than "$1.00 each"

Why I haven't won the lottery

Why Emergency broadcast tests happen at the really good parts of shows

Why I can't draw/cut straight lines

Ice Skates

How to drive a stick

Why things always happen to me on Thursday

Why David Bowie was afraid of Americans (is he still?)

Why the pizza place always asks if you have a coupon, then forgets to take it when you really do.

Furniture you can't sit in

Soap you aren't "supposed" to use
Why my picture host never wants to work when I do

Cowboy Pirates

My birthday is on Sunday this week and my mom and a few others have been asking me almost daily what I want. Normally I could spout of 4 or 5 things for them to pick from, but this year, I'm tapped. I know of a couple big things I'd like to have, but not right now. I'd like to get the hang of the stuff I have first before moving on to harder technology.

Anyway, I was just messing around today, looking at stuff online to try to get myself in the mood for my birthday (hasn't really hit me yet...after the fiasco of last years, I think I'm afraid to have one actually), but I came across what I want. I want someone to Rent Me A Cowboy for a day. I tried "Rent A Pirate" But I guess they haven't thought of that yet. HOWEVER, they (who the "They" is I keep referring to, I know not) have thought of this: Just Click Here and be suprised (I wonder how many will be working SuperBowl Sunday....) I must say, after seeing the second website, it was hard to decide, but I think I made the right decision.


While googling this info I came across something I think most of you (my Paintsville readers atleast ;) will find interesting : A spin on hot or not

I wonder if there's a Rent A Cowboy Pirate out there somewhere.... Maybe it's a pirate on a horse? Or A Cowboy, who sails and says "ARG"? I'll have to investigate.

I Love The 80's

I'm at work. It's snowing HARD. I have no customers. I'm bored.



80's Dance Party Favorites


Queen "Another on Bite the Dust"
Rick Springfield "Jessie's Girl"
REO Speedwagon "Keep on Loving You"
Kim Carnes "Betty Davis Eyes"
Human League "Don't You Want Me"
J Geils Band "Centerfold"
Men At Work "Who Can it be Now"
Hall & Oates "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)"
QuarterFlash "Harden My Heart"
Soft Cell "Tainted Love"
Dan Hartman "I Can Dream About You"
Van Halen "Jump"
Kenny Loggins "Footloose"

Dire Straits "Money For Nothing"

Tears For Fear "Shout"

A-Ha "Take On Me"

Robert Palmer "Addicted To Love"

Whitney Houston "How Will I Know"

Bobby Brown "My Perogative"

Bon Jovi "You Give Love A Bad Name"

Prince "Kiss"

Frankie Goes To Hollywood "Relax"

Foreigner "Urgent"

Madonna "Borderline"

Mr. Big "To Be With You"

Talking Heads "And She Was"

Peter Gabriel "Sledgehammer" (which Inspired the list)

George Michael "Faith"

Rick Astley "Never Gonna Give You Up"

Fine Young Cannibals "She Drives Me Crazy"

Rick James "SuperFreak"

Billy Idol "Rock The Cradle Of Love"

Roxette "The Look"

The Romantics "Talking In Your Sleep"

Don Henley "Boys Of Summer"

Richard Marx "Right There Waiting"



I see a part two of this list coming your way in the future. This is enough to make a two cd set. I figure I'll stop here, though the list I made was MUCH longer than this one. I like leaving an air of suspense though. Plus, I remembered something else I could write.



I'll leave you with these lovely time warp images:

Dating

So my mom sprung something shocking on me this morning....

"I may need you to take me to have lunch at that Chinese place by Blockbuster Monday" She says to me.

"Okay, we can go there." Me

"Actually, just me. I've got a date. A lunch date. With Steve." She replied.


"Steve" is this guy she works with. He's 47 and she claims he's divorced. Until yesterday I'd only heard he was married. But she also thought he was 59 (he must not be holding up too well). I didn't ask any details (because, well...ew) but she has mentioned this person a few times lately and I guess she's really going to do it.

My mom is 56 and my whole life she's went out with approximately one person. Two dates in fact. I think I was in third grade. His name was Sammy Thompson. She'd drop me at my aunt's house, then go out wherever, come back and we'd never speak of it. The second time, she came back two hours early and had told me she'd bought a new vcr and hooked it up at home (ours had broken I think) and she'd rented "Dennis The Meanace" for us to watch. Sammy was forgotten until a couple of years later, my mom, my cousin James, and myself were locked out of our car at Pizza Hut, and he came and introduced himself to us. It was slightly disturbing for me, though I can't explain why.

There was a man mom worked with many moons ago as well. They never dated, but I think my reaction to him conveys how I'm feeling now. I'd met Michael (Egg Head from here on out) many times prior to the event I'm discussing, but one day he really just drove me over the edge. I can't remember for the life of me what he was saying to my mom, but he'd followed us out of wal-mart one day when we were shopping, and said the dreaded thing. I threw my arms around my mother, giving him the evilest glare I could toss over my ten year old shoulder and screamed at the top of my lungs "You stay away from my mommy!!!". My mother was so taken aback that I didn't even get punished for yelling at an "adult" (I use the term loosely because he was barely into his 20s at the time. My mother and Egg Head remained friends but haven't talked in years. I think he's a prison guard or something. His head really IS shaped like an egg though.


I've thought a lot about what would happen to my mom when I met someone and wanted to start a life with them. I'd made all these mental plans about how she could live close by or right down next door, etc. but it hadn't really occured to me that she may not need me. That it may be me who gets the boot due to a man. I want her to be happy and most importantly, I don't want her to be alone. I'd like to see her find someone. But, it's so hard to accept what that means. I can't live with him. I won't listen to him. My whole life might change. Maybe it won't.

"Wow. You really like this Steve don't you?" I answered her, smiling

"I do."

That's nice. I'll make sure I'm free to take you" I replied.

And deep inside me, there was a little girl screaming.

Evil Things

Just A Few Things That Are Evil:



Peeps

Burs

UPS (Delivery 8 days in a row!!)

Wisdom Teeth

Wind

Fuzzy Gloves

Batteries

Anything I can't reach without a ladder

(Black) Ice

Light Bulbs

Crop Circles

Fake Snow

Styrofoam

Larry

My Right Front Tire

Loose Change

The hard spot under my carpet I step on every morning, leaving my bedroom

Telemarketers (Well….most)

Gray Hair

The Wax Lady

EBS Tests

Cheap Crayons

The Fever

The weather this morning was unbelieveable. The high today was 73 degrees and I was giddy. Yes, you heard me: GIDDY. I get spring fever every year and I had a small one today.The sun was shining, the sky was blue, the air warm, the breeze was slight, and I was happy. I had an overwhelming urge to go to the park, but had to come to work instead. Oh well!
But now, it's getting dark, and it's raining. The once gentle breeze has turned into "tornado alley" type wind. It's pouring buckets out there. My mood is slowing returning to it's winter one....which is okay, but not comparable to spring fever.
I wish I could keep the fever all year long. Wish they sold bottles of it...oh wait..they do...but I'm not depressed...just wish I were more giddy. I'm perfectly happy anyway. : ) Just liked the spring feeling.

My mom had the same problem I did. I left my house extra early this morning for work (I had to pick up my debit card that I left IN the machine Wednesday) and went to Wal-Mart to pick up something for someone else. I decided on the way there that I would spring clean, so I got all kinds of nifty cleaning products (yes, they and office supplies are two of life's finest guilty pleasures). When I got to work, my mom called and she asked what I had done before work and I told her. She told me she had bought some the previous day. I started mentioning stuff I had bought and everything I said she had gotten too. It was sort of funny. I know I'll have plenty of Pledge, Easy Off, 409, and Trash Bags to last a while.

Weekend Wedding

The wedding went off without a hitch. I went with my mom and my aunt which always leads to a humorous time. My aunt and I ruined my mom's eardrums trying to recall the words to Rod Stewart's song "Look the find the reason" (I think that's the name). We got most of them, which was great because it'd been stuck in my head the whole morning.



I got to see a lot of people (friends and family) That I hadn't seen in a long time. There was lots of visiting. Plus , I got an extra day off work. That makes the third Saturday in three weeks (due to the holiday) I'm really getting used to these four day work weeks.

Blarg

"Calm down...just calm down....it'll be alright. There's nothing wrong....everything is fine.....it'll be alright. Just calm down...."


This is just a snippet of a conversation I had with MYSELF last night. Yeah. You read that correctly. I lay awake last night worrying incessantly about something that's been on my mind recently and I had to calm myself by repeating those words over and over again in my head. I don't know what's wrong. What happend to miss chipper? I think she's vacationing in the carribean. I hope she's having fun, because I'm miserable. Not exactly 'depressed' (I've got nothing to be that sad over), but it just seems that my life has been out of whack since right after Christmas. Nothing has gone "wrong" really, but not many things have worked out like they should have.

On top of that, or maybe because of that, I've been a little overly emotional. I've taken simple comments the wrong way from a couple of people (though I don't believe they know that since l'm the kind of person who lets it sit on my mind a bit before I actually get mad...good thing too, because what I've gotten hurt/upset over turned out to be really stupid-on my part). I've even cried once. Gotten teary eyed more than that. I can't figure out what's wrong. There's nothing to be sad about really. I can think of one sort of big reason, but it's nothing that can be helped so it's pointless to worry about it.

The truth is, I'm a worrier. I'm an analyzer. I'm an over-analyzer. I have been really good about not doing that the past, oh, two years or so. But the analyzing comes more with the company I keep rather than the state I'm in.

It didn't help things to find out that two people who were significant figures in my life growing up, have both died. One this past November, one 2 years ago come February. One due to cancer and one due to old age. Where have I been? Has my bubble just burst?


PS. Why is it that when you need your friends the most they always seem to be unavailable, or too busy for you? It baffles me, but it happens everytime. That's why I'm so "Blarg" (attitude) I think. No one to talk to. Oh well....*points to above paragraph* It'll be fine.



I'll probably be done over it (well most of it) faster than this entry will take to post, but it's just been on my mind lately.

Hey(Hey!)You(YOU!) Get off of my Cloud

Boy, when they said January is a slow month for retailers, they weren't kidding! I have been bored stiff at work (In case anyone doesn't know, I run a gift shop in the town my college is in, for a lady from my home town). If I hadn't gotten a laptop a laptop for Christmas I probably would be commiting some sort of low grade crime just to 'keep it interesting'. I work alone so it gets a little well, lonely during the day. The men in the parking garage (It's sort of attached to my store on a street with many other businesses also attached to my store) and I used to play pranks on one another to quell the boredom, but we haven't done that since November. I'm going to have to think of a good one to kick us back off.

My night off was well enjoyed. I didn't do everything on my list or exactly what I said I wanted to, but it was just as good. As I was well into my night, hooking up my NES actually, my friend Becca called. I talked to her for around an hour, then realized I was quickly tiring, so I went ahead and played a hurried game then popped in Animal House and laid down. I was wrong about where I'd fall asleep though. It was right after that. ;)

I didn't wake up until 9:52 this morning. Whew. I couldn't believe it. I had gotten up in my sleepy state and turned off two alarm clocks and one alarm on my cell phone. I didn't remember any of it. Works for me though. I feel like my old self again!

........I just saw a man wearing a pink and white windbreaker jacket and matching pants, with a ponytail (The kind where one's head is shave on the bottom half). *Shudder*


It feels like fall today. Its windy. I like it. It's not raining as it has been since New Years Eve.

Overbooked

Have you ever noticed that for periods of time you'll have absolutely NOTHING going on, and then all of a sudden *WHAM!* and you've got so many engagements that your head spins? I've had nothing besides holiday stuff (the stuff so normal it's like breathing) for about 3 weeks now. Suddenly, I've got myself double booked this evening. I've got no idea how I did it. I'm not good with last minute plans. Unless it's my day off work. Then I'm good. But A semi-surprise visit from one friend and a depressed-about -a-jerky-boyfriend friend combined has left me with a quandry. I'll figure it out. I'm not complaining, I just realized how often this happens. I've got a wedding this weekend,and 100 people to cook for (for the wedding) on Friday. Just seems odd to me.

I've rambled too much already. Stopping now.

Mean Gean

Did you know that Mean Gean Okerlund manufactured his own meat product? That's right folks, and it's called the "Mean Gean" Burger. It can be found rotating in BPs everywhere.


It's not half bad. But I didn't feel "Mean" or even "Feisty" afterward.


This actually happend a long time ago....I am not sure what made me think of it. Just did.

Sweaters! Darn it, I want to wear sweaters!

Can someone explain to me why January feels like spring time? I'm starting to believe I fell asleep at some point, hibernated through winter, and now people are trying to cover it up because they know my birthday is this month. It's seriously odd. There should be around 3 inches of snow on, I should not want to go anywhere, there should be no happy bird sounds. Just miserable cold and ice skating.

Spring showers have come early. It's been raining since New Year's Eve. Hasn't stopped yet. It's also been around 60 degrees for the past two weeks. I've got my air conditioner on. This whole "What season is this again?" crap is really starting to bother me. Mostly because I have to keep digging out different clothes.

I realize that this is petty. I realize that I should be glad that I can go to the park and do stuff in January when normally squirrels tails are frozen to trees. However, I am not one to accept change readily and this tropical weather year round is a bit much for me.

Rather than sit in front of my air conditioner protesting though, I'm going to the park. There I will play with that weird velcro ball and mit thing, and watch the apocolypse come.

Good TIp

Here's a tip: If you say to yourself "I'm going to sleep at a decent hour, no later!" do not, I repeat DO NOT have 3 cups of highly sugared punch mere hours before.


I'm laying on my bed and my leg is shaking so much I almost feel like I should have someone rubbing my belly.


Oh what a long night it shall be.

On the bright side, it'll make you type superfast, and enable you to make up funny stories for your friends!