Where's The Career Booth Lady NOW?

Mental Note: When retreiving a hot pan from the oven make sure the pot holder you use isn't wet. OUCH OUCH OUCH. You're left hand (and you ARE left handed) will not be usable for a while if you fail to heed this advice.

Jobs I've "Seriously" considered pursuing this week:

-RN (too gross, methinks)
-Wedding Planner

-Professional 'Yam' Assembly worker

-Gal Friday (for serious)
-Rockette (though I'm pretty sure I am two inches too short for this one)
-Interior Decorator
-SuperFriend

I wonder which one works best for me? I loves me some yams (haha oooh the grammar!) but Superfriend sounds pretty awesome.

You And I Collide

We had our first snow of the year today. It was more of a tease really. The ground and trees and rooftops were covered with a glittered-wetness quickly, but sadly it dissipated just as fast. There was no time for the official "first snow" snow dance, or the official first scarf putting on or official first hot chocolate (with mini marshmallows of course) while standing on the front porch. A pre-thanksgiving snow is mostly unheard of here, so I apollogize Mr. & Mrs. S, fore I was caught unawares. I did manage to get some great pictures though, so that counts for something.

I'm not sure when it happend, if it ever did (it may have been there all along and only recently did I take notice), but for me, winter is magical. The snow is beautiful, peaceful. Icy roads are just a reminder to take care while out, or stay in and enjoy the season, the cold just a good excuse to break out the blue-million sweaters kept in the spare closet, right next to the Christmas tree. It's a time for candlelight and long chilly walks, warm greetings and kind words. Let's not forget homemade baked goods and Christmas ham. Don't get me wrong, I love fall for everything it is (and isn't). There's just something about winter. Good things happen in winter.

When December 1st rolls around folks, let's try not to get crabby. Let's try not to let the 50th time you hear "Let it Snow! Let is Snow!" get on our last nerve. Let's try not to be snippy and short with store employees (they're having a hard day too, I bet). Let's try not to be rude to one another (it wouldn't hurt just this once, to be nice to "that guy" you can't stand...he might be a nice person) . Let's try to not "Bah Humbug" this December. I'll even make you a list of 50 things to do in December besides worry about shopping and stress, if that'll help. Let's try to have some fun. After all, if The Grinch has a heart that can grow three sizes, anyone's can.

So remember, as Kacey Jones would say: "Never wear panties to a party, if you want to have a real good time,"...oh...hmmm

Maybe that doesn't really apply here. For most of you anyway.

So instead, I'll leave you with this:

Like Snow

She, then, like snow in a dark night,
Fell secretly. And the world waked
With dazzling of the drowsy eye,
So that some muttered 'Too much light',
And drew the curtains close.
Like snow, warmer than fingers feared,
And to soil friendly;
Holding the histories of the night
In yet unmelted tracks
-Robert Graves

Beef

UK, WHAT HAPPEND?! You were up, down, up, down, up, down, down, down, down. Then, with 00.9 SECONDS left on the clock, you're down by two. You could have fixed that, but noooo, you had to foul and wind up losing by four...FOUR!! The kings of the 'comeback' second half, the darlings of taking the basketball lead. Tubby's eyes were full of rage dudes. if I were you, I'd find another way home tonight. I would drive to Kansas to get you, but frankly, I'm very disappointed. I think you need to be taught a lesson.

And Hey! Commentators! Yeah, you two. What's up with the five minute commentary on a single player's hand size? You really think that's the important issue? What, were you trying to figure out how to ask him out? I'm pretty sure he's not into you. They're hands! Hands do not need to be measured in Tangerines and Cantaloupes.

Oh...and Microsoft, I see you snickering in the corner. YOU'RE the reason I've got to get up at 5am tomorrow. You and your "I'm not making enough X-Box 360's to meet the demand...tee hee" attitude. No, I don't have to wait in line for one, thank goodness, but I do have to go open a business for a friend, who's standing as we speak in line for one at a place that doesn't even open until 9am with a bunch of drunk nerds who, when asked what the 'bathroom' plan was replied "Hhhuhhh huuuhhhh there's some bushes over in that dark corner...huuhhh huuhhh" Beevis and Butthead style. I know. I heard them. I know you like mon-ay, so why don't you make ENOUGH? Yeesh.

(PS. I'm not as mad as I sound, I'm just full of sass tonight.)

Let's Just Forget About It

     This weekend started off with good intentions, turned out to be far worse than I ever thought possible, and finished up being better than it should have been.  One disaster, a few very good conversations, a couple of injuries, and a little comedic relief led to mixed emotions about the whole ordeal. I'm opting for 'selective memory' of the past week, deleting virtually ninety percent of the last five days. That's all I'm going to say.  I'm tired of thinking about it.

    I had a lot of time on my hands yesterday, so note the new stuff here as well as the profile page. More changes expected soon.

The Man Who Murdered Love

I saw him last Thursday, the man who murdered love*. I was standing in an aisle of a store, trying to answer my phone, when there he was. Walked right past me, a perpendicular path. And suddenly my heart dropped. My knees congealed. Was I even breathing? I had been successful, these past, nearly 3 years to avoid him, at first making it a point not go to his haunts, then later finding that I didn't miss bowling on fridays or shopping in a certain part of town.** But there he was, in my neck of the woods. Looking the same as the day we last spoke. What was he now, 24? 25? The person on the phone finally spoke loud enough to snap my attention back and I gave my head a little shake to clear those thoughts. I excused myself from the conversation and proceeded to go about my business, going opposite of where he had gone. I made it down a few aisles, the incident falling further from my mind with each step. Then, turning a corner I ran into him. Literally. Just like in the movies. Had I been the original Batman, I believe the proper notation would have been "Twack!" or "Kapow!". I made with the lame apollogies, trying to go my way, before he could see who I happend to be, but it was too late. As I mumbled "Sorry" he put a hand on my cart and stared for a moment before saying my name. I just nodded, which was more than I thought I'd be capable of.
He asked how I was doing, if I still lived around here, about school, etc, etc. I answered, and tried to smile naturally. I asked about his family and about himself, but after that, we ran out of small talk and ended up grinning stupidly at one another. Finally I clapped my hand against my thigh and said it had been nice talking, but I really had to finish up what I had been doing. He nodded, said he was headed somewhere himself, and then did what I never would have seen coming. He had me in his arms. He hugged me. Then it was over, and before I could say goodbye, he gave me a quiet smile and went on his way.

I started to turn away too, but thought better of it. Instead, I watched him walk away. At that moment I realized he wasn't the guy who I had crushed on for a year then dated and who, just when we started getting serious broke things off, because he just 'wasn't really over her' yet, BUT who less than 3 monthes later was living with a girl who broke his heart all over again, a short while after. He wasn't the guy who compared me to her and made me cry myself to sleep-out of pity for him. Who caused me to do crazy things because I thought he could change, if he just knew someone cared enough to try. He wasn't the man who murdered love anymore.

Nope, he was Jamie. The guy who taught me that a regular bowling date was a fun as a regular shopping date. Who introduced me to Rock N' Roll. Who helped me 'queen' up the cardboard cutouts of basketball players where we had worked together. Who treated me like a lady and made me realize good guys did exist outside of high school and childish fantasy.

And I....I was transition girl. The one whose smoky blue eyes could coax you out of a bad mood and could get you over someone faster than you'd have thought possible. After some recoup time, you'd fly off on your own. Wings mended.
I was reminded of a line from "Grey's Anatomy" a few weeks ago. I clearly heard Dr. Grey saying "...Choose me. Love me." I'm so glad he didn't.
I haven't been transition girl in a very long time. Just like Jamie hasn't been the man who murdered love.
Things really do change with time.
** I ramble a lot when I'm feverish. Forgive me, this time.

Garnet Alert:

Tell It To Me Straight, Merle

Nothing like some Merle, Patty, and George to set the mood of an evening.

Nothing like some Rugrats at 4am to pull you out.

Weekend

Friday led me into an action packed and confusing weekend. I spent my time doing local and fall activities. I spent Saturday afternoon shopping with my aunt, and then Saturday night poking around The Pumpkin House. I didn't get to see them all (some weren't put out yet) but the Griffith's are putting out 3,500 pumpkins this year. Mr. Griffith also owns (or co-owns maybe) a pharmacy in Kenova on a street reminiscent of Mayberry. The pharmacy has an old fashioned soda shop inside, and it appeared to be the Saturday night hang out in the quiet little town. Next door, was a barber shop, colored pole and all. I'm going to have to go back during the day and see if I can spot employees that look similar to Floyd and Ellie. After seeing this, I and my companions of the evening all agreed that the town was probably the neatest one around here to live in. I wish I had seen it before we chose our place, many moons ago. I'm not living in this state forever, but being there instead of here sure would have made the idea more tempting. A half night of staying up followed by a long morning of chit-chat and giggles led me into Sunday where I failed to fall asleep and wound up bundling in my warmed fall gear to go to the lake and walk around at the lake, rounding out the day with a warm bath in hot chocolate (or atleast a comparable substance) and Grey's Anatomy. I didn't celebrate Halloween like I thought I would, due to extenuating circumstances. I'll have to save the costume for another occassion. Monday was spent attempting to gear up (In that half-assed way I've perfected) for NaNoWriMo. The midnight hour and 2,154 words later and it was off to bed.

I've got this, sort of elated/happy feeling fluttering about me. Have for the past couple of weeks. But underneath (or perhaps, on top of) this feeing lays an ever-present fear. I pull back the second I feel myself going back to what used to be. I can't explain why. I wish I didn't do it, but maybe that's what I'm supposed to be doing. I can't let myself do that again. I can't be happy, not yet. I'll mess up. There's plenty of time to sing to the trees later.