"Call Me".....No Really

This morning I signed my freedom away for another year. I've officially planted myself in the same spot for at least the next ten months. After that,who knows. This afternoon was spent poolside, overflowing with Blondie, sunscreen, hugenormous sunglasses waterguns, and The Razor's Edge, and Mike's Hard Berry snow cones. Predictably, my thoughts turned to the subject(s?) I've spent the last week or so thinking about. Fighting it doesn't seem to be working, so instead I just closed my eyes, pretended to sleep and let it consume me. I don't know what's going on, but I didn't need a Magic 8 Ball to predict that for now, "outlook is hazy".

Let's you and I sneak a flask of something good in to watch PotC:DMC (or something of equal or lesser value), invent a drinking game during the previews, and come home to catch fireflies in the twilight.

Anywho, what are you guys up to in August? How about July 23? If you're unsure, Email me when you know. And yes, I have a reason for asking.

By The Light Of Day

I went to the lake today: A place I hadn't been since one Winter's night in February. My intentions were to write M the letter I'd been forgetting about all week, so I could mail it on my way home and be free of it. But as I should have predicted, slowly my thoughts turned to winter and forgotten promises. Suddenly, it was no longer a ninety degree summer day; it was a chilly winter's night and we were giggling. You with your eyes closed, the sweetest, quietest smile on your face.

As I sat there thinking-and I swear this is true-the song on the radio changed from "Give Me Three Steps" to "The Boys Are Back In Town". I gasped, feeling the wet trail weaving its way down my cheeks and sat up, rigid now. I sniffed once....twice and then did what I had originally set out to do.

I'm not sure why I'm so nostalgic lately. Maybe it's an unforgettable smile. Or the end of summer blues raging prematurely. Or an acute case of one too many episodes of the Golden Girls. Maybe it's that deed to an acre of the moon laying on my desk, that's been mocking me for a week now. That finally arrived.

Oh Moon, what am I going to do with you?

Shut Your Eyes and Sing to Me

I've been pretty preoccupied lately with stuff (and things) and while I won't bore you with the odder, more time-consuming parts I will bore you with this:

In the past week I have:
-Worked
-Slept
-Updated my flickr
-Been propositioned at work to teach a class once per month on making specific things
-Spent at least 2 hours in traffic
-Worn my Deep Purple cd out
-Started the process of joining a Church (one more resolution down...one more to go! I think...)
-Missed someone terribly
-Had an irrational fear about Best Friend and being mad, only to find her phone was broken.
-Had more weird dreams than you could shake a stick at.
-Been told that I would be the "most awesome girlfriend ever" by an old friend I ran into. Totally made my day. And no, he wasn't asking.
-Been caught in a rainstorm and didn't mind one bit.
-Accepted the fact that I can only do so much to help a person (nonspecific here) out: The rest is up to them.
-Wished upon a star
-Put two and two together
-Loved
-Been loved
-Realized that even though things are far from perfect that they could be a lot worse.
-Been thankful for that

And quite possibly more details later about a few of those tidbits.

Whodathunkit?

I tried to refrain from this, but I can deny it no longer! I have to get something off my chest. At work today, I saw a woman whom I've known my whole life. Who birthed probably the most annoying child on the face of the planet. Seriously, I could make you scream with my tales of terror. Who was a pal to my aunt AND my mom.

Who.
Is.
Now.
A.
Lesbain.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. But it was definitely a surprise. And where, might you ask, did I see her and whom she referred to as her partner?

At work! Mine!

Turn Your Head and Cough

I found these in the bathroom at work. Gives new meaning to the words "competency test"

Now THAT is Classy

When attempting to edit something for HB MS Word suggested I change:

"The fourth room they came to was huge, but empty, " to

"The fourth room they came to be huge, but empty,"

On Bugs...

Some of the worst things that have ever happened to me have been a direct result of bugs. 90% being connected to something sleep-related. Let's recap:

Age 6: I cried and whined until I was allowed to go outside without shoes on...FREEDOM! I stepped from the sidewalk to the grass and before my right foot left the pavement, was immediately stung by a bee, thus ruining me for life on the barefoot/outdoors deal. Never again.

Age 7: First time I ever recall throwing up. Direct result of a bug flying up my nose and grossing me out.

Age 9: GIANT spider fell on my head from a doorframe after washing my hair and only after I laid down to sleep did it come out. Yeah, I wore that bitch around a couple of hours, wrapped in my towel.Nice.

Age 11: Wasp flew up my nightgown when I stepped onto the front porch to water a plant, causing me to flail about and fall into a cactus. Yeah, you read that right. I said down right on a cactus. The wasp also stung me. The embarrassment continued when my mother had to enlist the help of a neighbor to pull needles out of my bare behind.

Age 16: Coming back at 7am from keeping my aunt company (she was afraid to be alone), a teeeeeenyyy tiiiinnnny spider decided that it would land on my shoulder for a while. I calmly tried to swat at it, and in doing so turned my head, which caused me to run the side of my car right into some jutting rocks. Car: Totaled. The good news: It was a Ford. The Worse news: My mom was in the car and witness to my stupidity.

Age 21: Fell out of the display window at work and onto a glass shelving unit when a pesky fly thought I was it's best friend. Ouch. Did I mention about 6 people, watching me change the display saw this happen? Yeeeaaaahh.

And now, at age 23 I add a new bug to the list. Last night I feel asleep prematurely, with a lamp on and window up. I woke up around 5:30 am with a moth trying to attach itself to my face. I screamed, flailed around, and in doing so, kicked a glass and it's melty-ice contents that I'd fallen asleep near right onto my laptop. Now lappy won't connect to the internets. And I'm usually so careful. *Sniff*

I've been pretty passive about these occuances up to this point. But Bugs, let me just make it clear here and now, no more. It's ON!

Tidbits

-I've been sort of blasé about normal stuff since last Thursday. Probably because I found a bunch of potential events (from earlier in the year) in my appointment book I had to rub out. "The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry"

-I think I finally trust TLB again. Maybe it's because we've gotten older, but she really surprised me.

-I keep opening my mouth to say something, but I can't seem to find the words.

-My golf clubs now have a new owner. Someone who will give them the attention I just can't. Every time I see them I get a little sad. But there's not much to be done about that.

-If anyone called me this weekend and I hung up on you, I'm sorry. My phone was supposedly struck my lightning and likes to freak out. So please direct all general inquiries to my cell until the 15th. Thanks.

-I'm also behind on email...give me a day or two to catch up.

HillbillySaysWhat?!

So, at this new job I have, one of my 'sort of bosses' is a guy. Late 30s, he's married and a self-proclaimed "gayest straight guy ever". A very um, different kind of guy. Today I noticed that he was carrying a plastic cup in his pocket and later, saw him pull it out and SPIT CHEW IN IT. Yep...you read that right. Chew (or whatever you call it)...at work!!

THEN (It gets better!), one of the older ladies and I were making a craft thing and she was telling me that last week he got hot in the office and took his shirt off, leaving on only his undershirt, or 'wife-beater'. Later, when someone needed him up front (in full view of customers) he came up, and only after several odd stares did he realize HE LEFT HIS SHIRT IN THE OFFICE. He later confirmed this story.

Yikes!

Only in West Virginia.

How Much Does it Hurt?

Old job officially gone. New job officially started. Sort of. Pretty happy. Not a lot to say about anything at the moment. I think I'm tired. Maybe tomorrow, but in the meantime, enjoy this poster that likes to haunt me. If you can't read it, you can view it here.