Bo-Ring

This weekend was so uneventful, non-eventful, and well, boring that, recounting any moment from the past 48 hours is, to me, likened with that screeching sound accompanying nails on chalkboard. So instead I give you:

20 Things I Definitely Did Not Do This Weekend:

1. Wild gambling on a riverboat

2. Win a round of 'chicken' on a dark deserted highway at 3am

3. Jump back

4. Party like a rock star
6. Frolic with livestock

7. Use the phrase "Well according to Dr. Phil..."
8. Construct a PowerPoint presentation depicting the impact Ozzy Osbourne's "Black Rain"
album has had on my ability to make decisions
9. Square dance
10. Find a use for all my old "punk rock" jewelry.
11. Hurl a vase angrily at the wall behind some unsuspecting person's head
12. Schedule 6am wake up call for whichever one of my friends would be most unsuspecting
13. Learn the "Charlie Brown Theme" on the harpsichord
14. Drink heavily then pass out just short of getting my key in the front door
15. Use 'despot' in a sentence
16. Deep sea harpoon expedition
17. karaoke to Outkast's "Sorry Mrs. Jackson"
18. Write my manifesto
19. Acquire a passport for any illegal means, nor did I acquire one for any legal means.
20. Give a dog a bath

What did you NOT do this weekend?